I just wish I knew how to help him.
“Help me with the tent?” asks Taran, his eyes meeting mine.
I follow him over to the side of the hill where we’ve been doing the washing up, helping him hold up the remaining canvas while he washes out the bloodstains with his magic.
I look back to see if Ronan is watching us, but he’s still staring up at the temple.
“I’m worried, Taran,” I say quietly. “This isn’t like him.”
“What happened up on the hill?”
I do my best to explain, but truthfully, I have no explanation for what happened up there or why it has left Ronan so shaken. “Has he been like this before? Or did something happen to him up there?”
Taran pauses, water suspended above the canvas. “He was like this after his mother died. And then again after his father. He’s grieving.”
“But we can still get the city back. Your people will help, won’t they?”
Taran drops the water into the fabric, and I begin to scrub. “Probably, although he may not like their terms. But it’s not the city or the crown that he’s grieving. It’s the people. A lotof people died back there, people he’s responsible for. It’s just going to take him some time to come to terms with it.”
“It wasn’t his fault. It was mine for letting it get this far, or Seth’s for not realizing what Adria would do, or—”
“Don’t do that. I’ve been doing that for a month, and believe me, it doesn’t help.”
“What?”
“Trying to find someone to blame.” He looks off wistfully into the distance in the direction the others went. In the direction Seth went. “You did what you did out of love. Seth did what he did—well, I’m not certain why he does what he does, but I believe him that he didn’t want this to happen. It’s put his survival in jeopardy, and there’s nothing he cares about more than that.”
“That and the state of his clothes. And his papers. And the tent, and the furniture, and whether his belt buckle has been polished, and whether the crust has been removed from his bread.”
Taran chuckles. “His life and how neat his living conditions are. Both things that are in dire straits at the moment. I can’t imagine he wanted this, no matter how much of a fool he may be.”
“I’m glad to hear you think he’s a fool,” I say. I glance up at him, not wanting to push into his private life but feeling as though I ought to at least warn him about Seth. “He likes you. He’s interested in you.” Taran’s face flushes. “I know he has a funny way of showing it sometimes, but I’m pretty sure.” I leave out the part where Ronan confirmed it. That’s our secret. “But he’s…”
“Flighty? Tempestuous? Possibly literally insane?”
“All of that, yes. I just…be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Taran smiles. “You have nothing to worry about there. I don’t get involved with people unless they can be serious. It’s just not my way.”
“Well then, there’s definitely nothing to worry about because Seth is about as unserious of a person as there is.”
We both laugh, but not for long. Neither of us can quite let our guard down here under these circumstances.
“Did you want me to leave you some water to wash up?” says Taran as we fold the canvas. Ronan has taken out his sword and is sharpening it on the ground with a stone from his pack.
“Please.” It’s been such a blessing having Taran along for our trek. Between the water to drink and the water to wash, he’s been using almost all of his magic every day, but it has made the journey infinitely easier than it would have been without him.
He fills a bucket in seconds. “The air is getting wetter again. I’m looking forward to being back in the forest. Although I’m not sure I’m looking forward to going home.”
“Why not?” I’ve never asked Taran much about his time with his people.
“There are just a lot of memories there. My entire tribe is gone. The tribe that runs Pyka, the Koraka, they’re the largest of the Orsa left, but they weren’t friendly with my people.”
“I didn’t realize the Orsa had separate tribes.” As I say it, my cheeks burn with shame. I knew so little of the people I had hated so much. “What was the disagreement?”
“The Koraka wanted to settle down, to found a permanent settlement and live like the Nithyrians. Farm the land, live in houses.”
“They got their wish.” We’re about to see what they’ve done with the home I grew up in. “Your tribe didn’t want that?”
