There are books.
No, not books.Journals. An entire chest full of them.
“Mother…” Seth mutters as he opens one from the top.
I pick one up and begin reading at random.
5thday of Summer, 595
I fear I’ve broken Sylvara’s heart today. The acrobats have left, and I haven’t had it in me to let my seven-year-old child run away to join the circus. You would think I told her the sun will not rise again. She’s always been so agreeable, but she’s stomping around sullenly, sighing from room to room. I asked Seth to take her with him into the woods, but he’s at the age where he refuses to do much but be in his room. I dread to think what he’s doing in there.
“It does not say that,” says Seth, snatching the journal from me, his face gone blood red.
“How old would you have been?” asks Taran.
“Twelve,” says Ronan. Seth and Ronan are the same age.
Taran purses his lips not to laugh when he realizes what Seth might have been doing in his room at age twelve.
I reach into the chest and keep pulling out old journals, skimming until I find one with Ronan’s name in it.
3rdday, 7thweek of Summer, 588
I had a strange encounter today with the little princeling that frightened me deeply. I can’t say if it’s paranoia, the baby making me worry, or something that I should genuinely be concerned about. Lysander suggested asking the God-King’s healer, but I’m not certain if it’s worth troubling them or if maybe I should keep it from the royal family entirely.
Seth was out in the bailey, playing a ring toss game when Ronan joined him. They played together for atime, but the game is new to Seth, and he could not handle losing to Ronan for long before he began to cheat. I called him over to admonish him, but truly I couldn’t help but feel a little pride. He’s a shadow-born through and through.
Still, I figured I must teach him that if he’s going to cheat, he needs to do it well and avoid being caught. He was being exceptionally obvious, although Ronan showed no signs of detecting his artifice. I doubt he’s encountered anyone in his five years of life willing to eventryto deceive him.
Seth came over, but Ronan did as well. I explained to Seth how the game is played, how he must stand behind the line before making his throw. Not accusing him of doing it on purpose, just making a point that he wasn’t following the rules. He stormed off, angry with me for exposing him.
Perhaps I’m wrong then, and he’s a fire-born like his father.
I expected Ronan to speak up and say something to Seth or to me about his cheating, but he didn’t. He simply thanked me for the help.
And then he took a step closer, reaching for my belly and then pulling back suddenly when he saw he had my attention.
“Do you know what that is?” I asked him. Calia has had no luck conceiving again after Ronan was born. I’m not certain he’s ever seen a woman with child before.
“She’s in there,” he said to me.
Not “a baby.” “She.”
“I don’t know if it’s a girl or boy yet,” I said. “I can’t know yet. But there is a baby in there. They’re kicking. Would you like to feel them?”
I don’t know why I did it. My only excuse is that Ronan is such a darling little thing with those big golden eyes taking up half of his face. It’s difficult to refuse him, even knowing who his father is. And I suppose I wanted to show him what pregnancy is, since there’s a decent chance, given Calia’s age, that he’ll never have a sibling of his own. I lifted my tunic, showing him where the baby was kicking.
“See? It’s alright. You can feel it if you want. It doesn’t hurt.”
He reached out his tiny little hand, and when he touched my belly, light flashed, almost blindingly bright.
“Holy shit,” says Seth. “How is that possible? We were five.”
Children sometimes have sparks of magic before their magic settles in adolescence; sometimes several types of magic, even. But the magic is very weak and unpredictable. “I’m sure it was just an ordinary spark,” I say, although I’m really not certain of anything at all. “Do you remember this?” I ask Ronan.
“No,” he says. “I remember coming here and playing with Seth. I remember a horse that you had with a long black braid. But I don’t remember much of anything else.”
Understandable. He was practically a baby.
