“Yes, he is,” I said before he tried to kick her out. “But I got the all clear from the doctor.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Merrick grumbled as Kellan nudged the bowl closer to me.
“You’re just jealous.” I ignored Kellan’s prodding, which backfired when he plucked the spoon from my grip and shoved the broth-laden utensil into my mouth.
“Ah, I see. Is that why he’s still spoon-feeding you?” Sophia pursed her lips, attempting to hold back her laughter, but it came sputtering out anyway.
“Give me back that spoon,” I huffed, aiming a glare at my supposed friend. “This is what I get for having your back.”
“No using your utensils for nefarious purposes.” Kellan shoved another spoonful of soup into my mouth. “You might not be on bed rest anymore, but you still need to take it easy.”
“Pfft. It would take little to no effort to give her one whack.” I reluctantly let Kellan feed me again, knowing how ridiculous we must look.
“Take pity on me. I was kidnapped after all.” Sophia flopped back onto me dramatically, the back of her hand on her forehead. She played it off as a joke, but the thunderous thud of her heart when her back rested against my chest told another story.
My amusement evaporated in a second as I exchanged a look with Kellan and Merrick, who paused eating his lunch.
“Don’t give me that look. I’m fine.” Tension laced her words.
She was holding everything back, not yet fully processing what had happened to her. I could tell since I did the same thing after Mountain Mike took me and after my near-death experience with Tommaso. My emotions were like rushing rapids, blocked by a dam. Some were getting through the barrier, but since we were still stuck in a life-or-death war with the Barones, there wasn’t time to let the barrage thoroughly wash over me. For right now all I could let myself focus on was the fact that we were all alive, and Tommaso wasn’t.
“You’re not. Hell, none of us are fine, but I get it.” I wrapped my arms around her, and she latched onto me like I was the only tether keeping her from floating out into the treacherous depths of the sea. “All I can focus on is taking care of Angelo and destroying their empire once and for all. We can deal with the rest once we’re out of flight or fight and have a chance to wrap our minds around it all.”
Kellan pursed his lips, while Merrick’s jaw ticked. There was so much we all needed to work through, but one person had to face their demons sooner rather than later. Spade’s flirty quips and possessive touches were buried beneath a layer of grief so thick that I couldn’t break through the near impenetrable mass that weighed him down. He spent most of his time inEast Haven, obsessively watching Angelo and his men, ready to sacrifice himself as the first line of defense if they even made the slightest act of retaliation. Even when we were in the same room, I felt as if there was an insurmountable, vast sea stretching between us.
I knew why the fire and my near-death hit him the hardest … but the opportunity to console and reassure him I was alive, safe, and that I’d never leave him wasn’t possible with both Merrick and me on bedrest and Spade’s fixation on Angelo.
As if my thoughts had summoned him, Spade eased the door open, his violet gaze apprehensive until he locked onto me. His shoulders slumped under his leather jacket so incrementally I wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t already analyzing every shift in his body language. It was the only way I could ascertain the truth behind the mask he insisted on donning.
“Sugar,” he said almost reverently, like reality and his nightmares were blending so seamlessly he couldn’t recall which was the truth without devouring every inch of me with his darkening gaze.
Reluctantly, he pulled his attention from me, a hint of violent delight sparking in his violet orbs before being snuffed out again with grief. “We should get the Demons together; the Barones are making moves.”
“Let’s get ready then.” I tapped Sophia’s arm for her to shift her weight off me, but she only looked over her shoulder with a brow lifted, pinning me with an incredulous look that each of my guys shared.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Merrick growled, his arm clasped around my shoulders as though he could keep me planted in the bed. Well, normally he probably could, but with the gunshot wound still healing, I could deftly get out of his hold—if only Sophia wasn’t keeping me pinned in place.
“You asked me to help lead the Demons while you’re out of commission,” I said. “I need to get out of bed to do that.”
Merrick’s eyes narrowed on me, promising all the punishment once he’s better. He was lucky I liked the sort of consequences I could see brewing behind those darkening hazel orbs.
Did I mention how much I loathed bed rest? Being beside this man and not being able to do anything more than cuddle was pure torture.
“You only just got the all clear from the doctor.” Kellan frowned.
I rolled my eyes at his insistence. “Yes, I know what the doctor said; I was there. And don’t think I missed the fact that he told you my private medical information.”
Pink warmed Kellan’s cheeks, but he didn’t back down. “I don’t think taking on the Barones was his idea of taking it easy.”
“What moves are the Barones making?” I swatted Sophia again, but she still didn’t move. Traitor.
“They’ve been lying low the last week, but I was finally able to catch one of them andsqueezethe information out of him.” Spade’s gaze glittered with excitement, as if he were fondly reminiscing about the torture needed to get those details.
Fury quickly sobered him. “They’ve plannedhisfuneral for tomorrow afternoon at the church in East Haven.”
Spade refused to utter Tommaso’s name ever since I woke up. I had no doubt if the cockroach had still lived, Spade would’ve devoted every second of his life toward shredding him apart, piece by piece.
A shiver ran up my spine. I had to be there. I had to make sure he hadn’t made it out of the fire somehow.
