She visibly shuddered, and I suppressed my chuckle as she reached back for the vest and then her gun. I knew exactly what my girl liked.
With each of our vests on securely, I strapped on my knives and gun before tucking her present behind my back.
“I put on the vest.” Her eyes glittered in the faint light that glowed from the single bulb illuminating the alley. “Can I have my surprise now?”
She gazed up at me from beneath her lashes, the look enough to bring me to my knees. I probably would have fallen over if I didn’t have one hand clasping the car.
“How can I deny my sugar when you ask so nicely?” I purred, drinking in her every reaction as her pupils dilated and she licked her delectable lips. I craved her more than any sugary treat, and it was taking all of my self-control not to pin her up against the wall and give her the ecstasy she desired.
I closed the distance between us, reaching for her hand with my free one. “Close your eyes.”
A playful grin played on her mouth as her eyes fluttered closed, and I couldn’t resist. I pressed my lips to hers and rested the custom-sheathed blades in her palm, reveling in the way shefell into me, devouring me as thoroughly as I claimed her. Her curiosity won out. She withdrew, ending the kiss far too quickly as she examined what I’d left in her grip.
“Custom knives?” Excitement danced in her amber eyes, as if fire were blazing within the glittering gemstones. She pulled one from its sheath, the magenta hue glinting in the scant lighting, revealing the bedazzled ring of gems on the handle.
“Zane specializes in creating custom blades, so I commissioned you a pair a few weeks ago, and he finished them today.” I swallowed thickly, uncertainty churning in my gut. It was the first time I ever got our little devil a present like this, after all, other than body parts. “I can get him to change it if you—”
“I love them.” She captured my lips in a sweet kiss, cutting off the rest of my nervous babbling. “Thank you.”
I took them from her and helped fasten the holsters to her legs, slowly trailing my fingers up her inner thighs, delighting in the goosebumps that erupted in the wake of my touch. Fuck, I wished I could go further, slip my hand into her lacy panties, and feel how wet she was for me. But we couldn’t. I had to keep her safe.
“I’d do anything for you.” I caressed her cheek, following the line of her lips, letting my hand rest at her jaw. Cupping her face in my palm, I traced my thumb over the elegant column of her throat, drinking in every detail of the woman I loved. She leaned into the touch, drinking in the comfort of my skin just as much as I was reveling in the softness and warmth of hers.
“Is everything okay?” she asked tentatively, her smile dimming slightly. “You’ve been distant since … everything.”
I stepped back and let my hand slip away, hating the bereft chill that stabbed through my chest at the loss of her warmth.
“Like that.” She chewed on her bottom lip, her gaze assessing.
“You almost died, Giana.” I shook my head as if I could dislodge that memory like an errant fly. My throat bobbed, and I forced myself to meet her eyes. “Sugar, if I lost you, I wouldn’t be able to come back.”
“You’d leave?”
“No.” I shook my head, trying to dispel the thought from my head. Even the possibility was threatening the tenuous hold I kept on my sanity. “I would be lost. There wouldn’t be anyone alive who could stop me from the rampage I’d go on. I’d kill every one of those fuckers with the hope I wouldn’t return, that I’d be able to join you in the next life that much sooner.”
“Don’t say things like that,” she snapped, her fingers digging in as she gripped my chin. The slice of pain sent a jolt of pleasure straight to my cock. “I would never want that; I would never want to be the only one you’re living for.”
“When I met you, I saw so much of myself in you.” I wrapped my arms around her, needing to feel her tight body pressed to mine. “There was a burning need to live, to escape, to have a normal life while I searched for a way out from the people who were supposed to be my parents. After they took my sister from me, I was going through the motions until I met Merrick and Kellan and found another purpose, another wrong to right. I was still missing that light, a purpose, until I found you.”
Her eyes fluttered shut, and she pressed her forehead to my chest, her hand slipping from my face to rest tenderly on my shoulder.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, and maybe I’ll be in the same place when we kill Angelo—”
“No.” I gripped her shoulders, pulling her back so I could lock onto her sweet amber gaze. “Don’t say things like that, Giana.”
“How do you think I feel when you say you might get yourself killed to be with me?” Her eyes turned to granite as her jaw tightened. “I love you, Spade. You’re a part of my heart, so it killsme to hear you speak like that. Anne would want you to live, to find another purpose in your life to keep you going.”
My eyes closed of their own volition, the name like a knife to the chest. “I lived for her. I escaped for her to live the life we both should’ve had.”
“And how many more people are out there suffering in the same way both of you had? Maybe your purpose is to help others get out, to defend themselves in the way they couldn’t before.”
“I think I like the sound of that.” I placed a kiss on the top of her head.
A sense of peace settled over me for the first time since we broke off to save Sophia. My sugar was here, she was safe, and she was going to help me find my way through this existence, which was far too bleak before I met her. I’d been avoiding her because I couldn’t stomach the thought of almost losing her, but if I kept putting this distance between us, it would be like severing the cord that linked our hearts together.
There was still a puzzle piece needing to be slotted into place. I needed her wrapped around my cock, to feel her breath stutter against my heated skin as I pounded into her wet heat, punishing her for ever daring to leave me. That was what I needed to clear the haze that had been fogging over my mind since the moment she told us to leave without her.
Before I could pin her against the wall, a scream reverberated off the bricks, snapping our attention to the main street.
