Especially since I’m planning to ask her out.
Instead, I used her pushiness as an excuse to avoid doing something I haven’t done since Clara died. I’ve gone out with a lot of women, had sex with more than I could count, but I’ve never asked a woman out with the intention of starting something. Or at least seeing where it could go.
I’ve been hiding under grief and pain and myriad other emotions to avoid emotional entanglements.
And I’ve done the same thing with my music.
It’s easier to hide than to face my grief again, or to remember everything and everyone I lost.
What Kingston is asking is too much.
It is.
Isn’t it?
I’m still looking into Wynter’s beautiful eyes, and suddenly, I’m not sure about anything.
Devyn, Z, and Kellan have come off stage, leaving Tommy to do his drum solo, which might last three or four minutes if he pushes it.
And now they’re looking at me too.
As if they planned this.
“I can’t,” I say finally.
“You can,” Kingston says firmly. “You can do anything you put your mind to.”
“Stop talking!” Devyn admonishes him, smacking his arm.
He gives her a pointed look, and she turns to me, the question in her eyes impossible to miss.
“Not you too,” I groan.
“We promised him we’d never bring this up,” Kellan says.
“This is different,” Z points out. “We couldn’t anticipate running into a situation like this.”
“I haven’t sung like that in over a decade,” I interject. “I don’t know what shape my voice is in, even if I wanted to.”
“It can’t be worse than Kingston going out there and losing his voice completely,” Devyn says.
“Come on, man. This is important.” Z lifts his hands in a helpless gesture.
“There could be a nice bonus in it for you,” Kellan adds.
I grit my teeth, trying to calm the roaring in my ears. “You know this isn’t about money. Jesus.”
“It isn’t part of your job description but we’re a family here,” Kellan says carefully. “We’re there for each other. Aren’t we? It’s only a couple of songs.”
Only a couple of songs?
They have no idea how much they’re asking of me.
It’s so much more than a couple of songs.
Yet there doesn’t appear to be a way for me to say no.
Because Onyx night is my family, the only one I have these days. My parents passed away years ago, I have a brother I only see once or twice a year, and that’s about it. So, these guys are important to me beyond the fact that they’re my employers.
