The drive to Vegas takes about five hours, but time passes quickly. There’s ten of us on the bus today: Tommy and Harley, Z and Presley, Kellen and Jesse, Kingston and Devyn, and Ross and me. And this feeling that I belong is nice. Not that the band ever made me feel unwelcome, but I always felt like a third wheel, even back when most of the guys were single.
I can’t tell if I’m happy because it’s these specific people or if it’s because I’ve been lonely for so long. Whatever the reason, I’m not going to overthink it.
I’m happy.
It’s as simple as that.
“Is it wrong that I’m enjoying time away from River?” Harley asks, wrinkling her nose.
“It’s not wrong,” Presley says. “We’re allowed to enjoy a little adult time.”
Z chuckles. “Enjoy it while it lasts. My parents are bringing the boys to Vegas tonight, so this is our only break.”
I’m only half-listening as the conversation turns to nannies, sleep schedules, and their plans for the rest of the tour. The tour I won’t be on.
“What’cha thinkin’ about?” Ross asks, sliding his arm along my shoulders.
“Oh, just everything I have to do when I get home.”
“Later this afternoon, after sound check, let’s sit down and look at our calendars.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Do you have any more travel coming up?” he asks.
“No, it’s all nine-to-five drudgery.”
“Why did you take an office job if you hate it so much?” His voice is laced with curiosity.
It’s a fair question.
I just wish I had an answer.
“I didn’t know I would hate it,” I admit sheepishly. “I was ready for a change, and working in the E.R. can be brutal. I honestly thought this would be easier.”
“Why don’t you look into that travel nurse job, or whatever it was? Does it pay well?”
“It pays really well. The bad news, of course, is that there are often no benefits because you’re an independent contractor. But the good news is that you get to make your own schedule. You take the jobs you want for the length of time you want in locations you want to go to.”
“That could work out well for us,” he says thoughtfully. “You work for a few weeks, make sure your bills are paid, and then come spend a few weeks with me. You won’t have to pay for anything when you’re with me.”
“I have to do some more research,” I admit. “But I promised myself I would give my current job six months.”
“Just remember, there’s no shame in changing your mind. If you’re that miserable, there’s no rule that says you have to stay the whole six months.”
I’ve had similar thoughts, but I don’t like giving up on anything. It makes me feel like a failure.
Luckily, Ross drops the subject, and we start talking about plans for dinner instead. The caterers are making Italian tonight, which is always a favorite.
The next thing I know, we’ve checked into the hotel, and the guys are holed up in Kingston and Devyn’s room, planning tonight’s setlist. We’re staying at The Bellagio, and the rest of us decide to go wander through the casino.
“I want every detail!” Harley says, linking her arm through mine.
“Devyn said we have to wait for her before we have this conversation,” Jesse says, laughing.
“Hey, it’s not our fault she has to work,” Harley says. “You can give her the Cliff’s Notes later.”
“He’s amazing,” I say shyly.
