And all I see in them is…support.
“I’ll go back to work soon,” she says quietly. “I can support us for a year or two until the album takes off.”
She’s really more than I deserve in a woman after all these years alone, but I can’t take advantage of her.
“And what if it doesn’t?”
“Then you find another job within the Onyx Knight organization. It’s not complicated. They promised you you’d have a job if things didn’t work out, right?”
“Yeah.” I lightly drum my fingers on the table. “But the finances are going to be…tricky.”
She shrugs. “I can talk to Harley and Tommy about us moving in with them. You can give up your apartment to save that money, and we’d basically use their house for storage. If I’m doing the travel nursing thing, I’ll be gone for a couple of months at a time, and you’ll be either at the studio or on tour.”
I watch her face carefully. “Honey, do you hear yourself? Do you hear what our life will be like?”
“It won’t be easy but we’ll manage.”
“I don’t want you to resent me.”
“I know what I’m getting into.”
“Do you?” He cocks his head. “Being apart will be hard. Being together will be hard because we’ll be worried about everything—money, how the album is doing, what the press is saying, all of it. And there will be an element of scrutiny on you as my girlfriend.”
“I’ve spent a decade watching my sister live that life. I can handle it.”
“Yeah but your sister did it with a multi-millionaire. They weren’t wealthy at the very beginning, but that changed quickly. It probably won’t be that way for me.”
“You’ll still be making money and we’ll have very little in the way of expenses. But we can give it a time limit. Like, I don’t know…let’s say two years? I want to have a baby by the time I’m thirty-five. So, if I’m thirty-four and things aren’t moving the direction we want them to, we reassess.”
I put down my coffee cup and reach across the table for her hand. “I need you to know—I won’t do this if it means losing you.”
“Why would you lose me?”
“Because I think it’s going to be harder than either of us imagine. You know what the chances are that the album takes off? That I actually have another hit? That my career takes off like it did twenty years ago.”
“There are no guarantees in life, Ross. We both know that.”
“For some reason, I thought you would try to talk me out of revamping the band.”
“I don’t want to talk you into or out of anything. I want you to follow your heart, even if it makes things harder for a while. I want to support you in whatever way you need.”
“It feels like this is all about me. What about what you need?”
“Right now, all I need is you.”
God, this woman is amazing.
“You have me.” I squeeze her hand.
“Then the only question is what you want.”
I hesitate but only for a few seconds.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I’m chomping at the bit to get out there and do what I do—with my own music, my own band. It’s easy to pretend you don’t want something that you absolutely can’t have. It’s something else entirely when the opportunity presents itself.
“I honestly don’t know,” I admit, looking away.
“Then take as much time as you need to do what’s right for yourself. Don’t worry about me.”
