It’s also why I’m second-guessing my decision.
The irony doesn’t escape me but I’m too blissed out on my new guitar to worry about that. That’s a tomorrow problem.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Wynter
Ross is completely enamored with his new guitar.
It’s kind of adorable to watch as he shows the guys backstage and they all fawn over it. I can’t help but chuckle because they’re like little kids with a new toy. Obviously, I’m not a musician so it’s hard to wrap my head around why they’re so excited.
Z lifts it like it’s made of gold and ever-so-gently puts the strap around his neck. He plays a few chords that we can’t hear since it’s not plugged in to an amplifier, but the rest of the band get excited all over again. Even Devyn takes a turn, strumming the strings with a huge smile.
“It’s a beautiful instrument,” Harley says softly from beside me.
“He wasn’t going to buy it,” I tell her, explaining how we stumbled into the little music store. “It wasn’t until I took out my credit card that he pulled the trigger and did it himself. That’s not why I did it, I was going to buy it for him because I wanted him to have it, but his ego couldn’t allow it, I guess.”
“I don’t think he spends money on himself very often,” she says thoughtfully, continuing to watch the band fawn over the guitar. “And he has a huge decision to make so he’s probably trying to tackle one thing at a time.”
“What do you think he should do?” I ask.
She shrugs. “It’s hard for me to answer that. How do I know what would make him happy? Honestly, you probably don’t even know, even though you’re a couple now. I think this is something he’s buried deep in his psyche and he has to be the one to come out the other side with what could be a life-changing decision.”
“I’m torn too,” I admit. “I’m trying to be supportive, tell him I just want him to be happy, but it scares me a little.”
“Which part?”
“Honestly, everything about Ross scares me. I idolized him as a teenager, and now all those dreams are coming true. Part of me is worried that reality won’t live up to the fantasy. That I’ve put him on a pedestal so high no one could ever meet the expectations I’ve subconsciously imposed.”
She frowns. “Has he let you down in some way?”
“No, not at all, but… who are we when we’re not on tour? Are we going to be able to function as a normal couple when we go home? When we have to do mundane things like clean toilets and wash our cars and go grocery shopping.”
“Do you not want to do those things with him?”
“I do! But what if…” I stop and bite my lip. “What if I’m boring to him in that scenario?”
“If you’re not boring to him now, you won’t be boring then.”
“Come on, you know how it is after I’ve been on a long shift. I’m tired, I put on sweats and become one with the couch.”
“I have to believe that on his days off, he lays around in his tighty-whities scratching his balls and watching TV.”
Our eyes meet for a beat and then we dissolve into laughter.
“Thanks for that very unattractive picture,” I say, shaking my head.
“If you’re going to build a life together, you have to be ready for down time. He’s not going to be Ross Rockit twenty-four-seven. You think Tommy is always on?”
“Isn’t he?”
“Not at all. In the past, yes, we probably lived a bit larger than we will going forward but we’re also older. It’s been more than a decade since we met. And now we have River.”
“I think that’s a good thing, having something—or in this case, someone—to keep you both grounded. You’ve changed and been through hell to find your way back to each other but this life is still hard.”
“Absolutely. That’s why you have to talk to Ross about this stuff, not me. Let him know you’re feeling a little off-balance with the future. Be vulnerable.”
“What if being vulnerable is a turn-off?”
