“I acted out of anger, from a place of hurt.” I hug her tighter. “But I’m going to work on that. And I’ll talk to Tommy. To all of them.”
“I’m sure they’re going to understand.”
“I punched Tommy in the face,” I say, grimacing.
“I heard. He had a hell of a shiner.” She’s chuckling when she says it, though.
“What, uh, can you tell me what Harley’s told you? About what Tommy’s feeling?”
“Honestly, confused. He’s not even mad about the black eye because he understands how much you lost. But he’s so confused about why you just reacted without even talking to him.”
I’m thoughtful. “I guess… I asked him if he knew his father was a murderer and he said yes. I never got beyond that.”
“He knew his father went to prison for vehicular manslaughter or whatever it was. He didn’t know who he killed.”
“Yeah, Sasha straightened that out for me.” I run a hand up and down one of her arms. “Thanks for giving me a chance to explain myself. Something I didn’t give Tommy.”
“I love you,” she says. “I don’t have a choice. And if we’re being honest, Tommy loves you too. Just different from me.”
I chuckle. “I hope so.”
“Have you reached out at all?”
“Like I said, you were and will continue to be my priority. Yes, we have responsibilities like work and such, but nothing is as important as what we’re building.”
“Assuming all is forgiven at work, what’s the plan?” she asks after a moment.
“The plan is to start auditioning musicians to play with me as the opening act this summer and into early fall. Kingston asked me not long ago if I wanted to share some of my music with him, songs I’ve written, and if he likes any of it, maybe we’ll record something together. Or I can sell the band some music. Either way, I’m going to start writing more and trying to sell my songs like I did right after the accident. That was the only way I could make money at first, and I was stupid to stop.”
“It probably hurt to write music without your band.”
“It did. I made some dumb decisions in my grief. I guess sometimes I still do, which is why I’m going to work on it.”
“I’m proud of you for acknowledging that,” she whispers.
“I’d like it if you came on tour with us this summer,” I say slowly. “Finish this job and then quit. I’m going to be making a lot of money and, assuming all goes well with the band, I can let go of my apartment and either rent a storage space or put it in Tommy and Harley’s place while we’re gone.”
“I have close to a hundred grand put away,” she says. “For our future.”
“I have five times that amount in investments. Maybe a little more. So, when the time comes to buy a house or whatever, we’ll be okay.”
“And if I keep working—” she begins.
“Wait.” I gently interrupt. “I’m not the kind of man to tell you to stay home, be a traditional wife, any of that. But right now, short-term, I think we need to be together. To build trust and find our footing. When the European leg is over, we can reassess. Is that fair?”
She lifts her head and her eyes search mine. “Yes. Absolutely. And as much as I hate giving up my independence, I agree that it’s important for us to spend time together.”
“I don’t want you to give up anything—I just want to take care of you. Love you. Make you happy.”
“I’m very happy when I’m with you.”
“So let’s not be apart. We can afford it.”
“I’ll have to dig into my savings for bills, though. And that reduces what we’ll have when we decide what’s next.”
I shake my head. “I can cover everything, babe. I know, it will probably feel weird to you, taking money from me, but either we’re completely committed, or we’re not.”
“I’m committed—I just don’t want to be in a position where I have to ask you for money to go buy a pair of shoes or the fancy shampoo I like.”
