Chapter
One
Lindsey
I'm making a quick run to the bathroom and am outside the office door when I hear the sweet, heartrending exchange between my former sister-in-law, Winnie, and her new beau, Gabe, regarding their future and…marriage.
And, like it or not, panic takes over.
Not because I begrudge her happiness, but because I'm pregnant, untethered, and don't know where I fit in this new version of her life.
She deserves happiness. Especially after sticking with my brother Jason and caring for him until his death. That was no small thing.
No marriage is perfect, and my brother wasn’t an easy guy. He was very much like our parents in that once he decided something, that was it. So I get why they had the trouble they did when Winnie changed her mind and wanted kids despite their original agreement to be a childless couple.
But despite her change of heart, she stayed with him when she heard his diagnosis, and I know Jason couldn’t have asked for a better caretaker.
And…Gabe seems like a nice man. When I watch them together, I see the difference between what I shared with Mr. McCheater versus what Gabe and Winnie—Bronwyn have.
It's so obvious now; it makes me ache, and I press a hand over my stomach when I feel it churning again. It seems like nothing I do is ever right, and this is just another example.
I've messed up, and I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'm pregnant. Much less that the baby's father turned out to be the sleazeball he is. Wealthy, powerful and a jerk. Go figure.
I've had more than a few anxiety attacks and crying spells over my unexpected news, and I keep kicking myself for being so taken in by a liar and adulterer.
But Winnie’s offer for me to stay in town? For her to be an auntie to my baby? Will that still hold true since she's found love? Is apparently getting married? Where do I fit into this new development?
Will I—we—be a burden? What am I going to do?
I hear them coming out of the office and rush back into the storefront. EMT Elena Pierce is there with six-year-old Dani to pick up her cousin, Madison, for their daily hospital visit to see Kace, Dani's father and Madi's uncle, who was injured in a fire.
I falter when Pierce turns toward me with an expression of surprise due to how fast I left the scene of Bronwyn and Gabe's nausea-inducing sweetness. "Do you want me to take them today?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, but I need to get out of here, even if it's for a drive into Wilmington to the hospital. "I'd be happy to take them." I barely stop myself from begging. Please let me take them!
The other woman recovers from the sudden offer and my audible desperation and looks briefly at the girls before shifting her gaze back to me.
"I mean, if you wouldn't mind, sure. I was invited to meet some friends for dinner but?—"
"We can go with Lindsey," Dani says. "It'll be fun!"
I nod like a freaking bobble head, but I seriously need a change of scenery. To get out of newfound love land and into my head, where I can figure out my loveless future.
I have decisions to make. Lots and lots of decisions. "Happy to do it," I say again, aware I sound a bit breathless. Am I hyperventilating?
I fight to slow my breathing, but I think I make it worse.
The happy-as-pie couple emerges from the office, and I can practically feel the joy oozing off them.
My skin crawls, and the room tilts a bit on its axis. I'm happy for them. But sad for myself?
"Okay, sure. That works. Just text me when you leave the hospital, and I'll meet you at the house?"
I bobblehead again and ask to borrow Winnie’s car, wincing when I mess up and call her by her nickname rather than her full name.
Dani pipes up to inform Bronwyn of the change in plans, and my sister-in-law returns to the office to get her keys while Gabe, Carolina Cove's fire chief, and Pierce make small talk about the bookstore's opening day. All the while, I'm standing here, trying not to come apart at the seams. My mind is racing with questions and problems and details regarding my future. Heavy emphasis on the fears stacking up like Legos.
Maybe I'm more like my parents after all. Because right now? I'm all about me and my problems. How can I not be?
Jobless? Yup. I won't be going back to California if I can help it, and I haven't found anything here other than helping out at the bookstore. And since the store literally just officially opened, I don't look to get a lot of hours just yet.
