I nod, but the fear and anxiety and worry are still there. Too strong to ignore. I'm not even sure my own heart rate has slowed since the incident. I'd really screwed up. And I can't let it go just yet. The consequences are too dire to simply brush off.
"Well, it sounds as though she's being punished, and Kace isn't holding you responsible. I mean, that little girl definitely has a mind of her own. You can't control that. No one can."
"She does," I agree. "And he was great about it, all things considered. I just hate that it happened at all."
"Of course. But you can't change it. And now you know what she's capable of, I know you won't let her out of your sight again."
"Definitely not. I'll remain standing if it means keeping myself awake." Because that kind of fear? That unbridled rush? It sticks with a person. Forever. And it's all too easy to imagine my little monster doing the same thing. I've tucked the learning experience away as a lesson for the future and add my thanks to Bronwyn's that Dani wasn't hurt.
"I hate that you're feeling physically bad, but…do you think you'd feel well enough to join me here at the store this Sunday evening to do some planning?"
I sense something more to the question and refocus my attention to take her in. And for the first time, I notice the ring sparkling on her left hand.
"Wait, when did that happen?" I grab her fingers and lift them to take in the rock. "Wow. Your Beasty did good. That's gorgeous."
Bronwyn laughs softly. "He did, and it is. And you've been so busy with the girls and Kace that I haven't mentioned it, but—we're not waiting. Gabe and I have talked and talked and talked. About everything. And neither one of us wants to wait to get married."
I blink at her, realizing why she's asking about Sunday. I mean, on opening day when I overheard Bronwyn and Gabe in the office somewhat playfully discussing marriage, I knew they were headed in that direction, but now? So soon? "Wow. That's…fast. You're getting married on Sunday?"
"Oh! No, not quite that fast," she says with a laugh. "Sunday is all about planning, and I'd really love your help. We thought we'd wait a few weeks. At least until Kace is in a lower leg cast or boot so he can stand in as Gabe's best man."
A few days. A few weeks. It was still fast, wasn't it? My expression must have revealed my thoughts because Bronwyn smiled.
"Linds, I promise you, I've never felt surer about anything in my life. And I was also hoping…you'd be my maid of honor?"
I blink again but quickly gather my senses and nod repeatedly, managing a smile. "Of course! Of course I will. I'm honored."
Bronwyn looks ridiculously relieved and gives me a hug. I'm squeezed tight, and the hug feels great, but the scent of her shampoo nearly does me in. I pull away quickly and step back. "Do you, um, have specific ideas?" I ask to get her refocused on her upcoming wedding and not on me or the fact I could totally hurl on her shoes.
While Dani plays with the stuffies and tea set and Madi slumps into a nearby chair on her phone, I listen while Bronwyn fills me in on what she knows so far.
Small wedding. Just those on Gabe's crew that want to come, her friend Amelia, and the Babes and Violet and Jasmine. Gabe plans to ask Kace to be his best man, but Bronwyn says to keep that to herself for now.
I nod through it all, happy for Bronwyn but silently reassuring myself that I'm okay with the fact my absolute-last-resort backup plan has just been blown to bits. I'd told myself repeatedly that if my deal with Kace fell through and I hadn't found an apartment I could afford, I could always return to Bronwyn's. And while, technically, I probably still could—do I want to be the third wheel on their honeymoon?
That's a hard no.
I double down on sucking up the girls' mood swings and Kace's grumpiness, determined to ignore it while searching for my own place as well as a good job. I can't allow my anxiety and fear of the future to win. That wouldn't be good for me or my baby.
My baby. Maybe it's silly or weird, but I think it's the first time I've called him or her mine. But it is. It's mine, and that means tackling whatever comes my way, because I owe my baby the life it deserves.
"Thank you. I wasn't sure if…it would be too hard for you," Bronwyn says with hesitation.
"Not at all. Jason would be thrilled for you. And so am I." My brother and Bronwyn had been married for thirteen years before he passed away. Before that? Friends our entire lives. And while things had been rocky for them at the end, I know Jason wouldn't want anything but happiness for her. "What do you want me to wear? My clothes should be here by then, but I might need to go shopping."
We discuss wedding ideas for another ten minutes or so before I realize how long I've left Kace home alone. "Oh, gosh. I've got to get back and get the girls home. Text me or call if you think of anything. Otherwise, I'll be here Sunday, and we can talk then."
"I will." Bronwyn hugs me, and I hold my breath to keep the nausea at bay when her scent hits me again. I seem to be reacting to everything, and it makes me want to put a clothes pin or binder clip on my nose so I can't smell anything.
Back in the car for the drive home, Dani's in the back singing a nonsensical song about llamas, and Madi glares out the window as though she'd set the world on fire if she could.
I open my mouth to ask once again what's wrong but just as quickly close it. I do not have the bandwidth to go there right now. Not when I'm already struggling to juggle the day's news.
We get home and thankfully Kace is just waking from a nap, exhausted by his earlier trek outside on one foot.
But it's bad news as well because I can't catch a break. I no sooner get in the house when Dani says she's hungry, and I see Kace eyeing the bathroom door and looking as though he wants to try his hopping maneuver again—which I know caused him enormous pain earlier. "Don't even think about it."
He jerks his head toward me and lifts a thick eyebrow as though silently reminding me that he's, technically, the boss.
