"You were sick?"
I shake my head, and because I am so rarely at the bookstore without Madi, I shrug and decide Bronwyn needs to know what happened with the girl. If for no other reason than the fact Madi's mom could appear out of nowhere, and there might be an issue.
I explain about getting up to go to the bathroom when I heard Madi crying and the conversation that followed.
"That poor girl."
I nod. "I can't imagine. But it also makes me think too. This baby—the timing sucks, and the pregnancy has completely derailed my life, but I don't ever want it to feel like Madi. She broke my heart. It was… I just wanted to crawl into her bed and hug her so she'd feel safe."
Just like I wish someone would hug me and tell me the same thing. I am a strong, independent woman, but sometimes I just need a hug, dang it. Someone to lean on, even if only for a moment. To take my weight and squeeze me tight and let me pretend I'm not all alone.
"You are going to be a great mom. The fact that you recognize Madi's struggle and want to make sure your baby doesn't feel that way? Lindsey, that's everything."
Bronwyn stretches out her hand and takes mine, squeezing it gently and giving me a look of reassurance.
I wish I could feel as confident, but I don't. I'm still in the what-am-I-doing stage that's running parallel with panic at not having found a home or job or any of the other necessities needed to be a single mom. "It's not, though. How do I know I'm not going to screw this kid up like—like Madi's mom?"
Bronwyn grasps my other hand now, holding both, and gives me such an intense, frowning glare that I blink in surprise. This Bronwyn doesn't come out that often, and when she does, she's fierce.
"You know because you are not cruel or selfish. Linds, you're worrying about the baby's well-being and it's not even here yet. That's being a good parent. Now stop worrying. It's not good for the baby."
Two hours later, I insist Bronwyn take a walk with me along the boardwalk and beach. It's a gorgeous evening, and the breeze keeps the otherwise unbearable heat away.
We're one house away from Mary Elizabeth's when I see Mary Elizabeth waiting on her porch, looking beautiful in a bright flowy dress and sparkling necklace.
She waves at us, and I wave back.
"Girls, come say hello!"
Bronwyn smiles and glances at me.
"Is that okay? Do you feel up to it?"
"I feel fine." It's a bit of a white lie because I'm feeling nauseated as always, but I'm determined to muddle through and do my duties as maid of honor. "Let's go."
By the time we get to the porch, Mary Elizabeth is beaming from ear to ear as she welcomes us.
I follow Bron up the porch steps, waiting my turn to hug the dear woman and see her wink at me over Bronwyn's shoulder.
"This day calls for some lemonade. Let's go inside."
Mary Elizabeth opens the door and holds it for Bronwyn. The moment Bronwyn is over the threshold, everyone inside screams, "Surprise!"
Bronwyn is angled enough that I can see her expression, and I laugh when she turns to me with an incredulous stare.
"How did you manage this?"
"Oh, I had help, trust me," I say as I give Mary Elizabeth a side hug. "I've barely been allowed to do anything."
"You've been such a dear to all of us," Mary Elizabeth says, "and we wanted to help Lindsey with the planning to celebrate your big day."
"Oh, my gosh. Thank you! All of you! This is amazing."
While Bronwyn makes the rounds and says hello to the guests, I head for the bathroom, hoping some cold water on my face and wrists might help keep my stomach from revolting. The ladies went all out on food, but the scents are already crawling under my skin.
I should be out there helping distribute game items since I'm the one in charge of those, but I take a few more minutes to myself away from the crowd of women with their perfumes and sunscreens, and the food.
Back into the fray, I smile and greet the ladies I've already met—like Zoey—and get introduced to far too many more with names I'll never remember.
