While a part of me knew or at least suspected his feelings, given his expression moments ago, the other part of me…is devastated. Which might be more of an indication that I'm in over my head as well.
And head over heels.
How is it possible to care so much already? Not only for the girls but for him? And yet here I am. Right back where I started. Rejected again. "I know."
It's all I can say, and it's a whisper at that. Because what else can I say? He's their father and uncle. We're temporary. And we'd agreed that with one word of discontent from either of us, our arrangement ends.
And this is it.
The end.
Unlike his girls, I'm not part of his world. His life. Their lives.
I'm the one who's an outcast here. And I've just been cast out.
I wanted safety. But it turns out safety looks an awful lot like being alone where hearts can't be broken.
Chapter 29
Kace
"Noooo! I don't want to go!" Dani screams.
Two days after leaving Lindsey looking devastated in the hospital, my fingers are knuckle deep in my hair and pulling hard. "Dani-girl, you begged for these dance lessons. You have to go. Pierce is waiting to drive you to class."
"No! I don't want to go! I can't," she says, sobbing so hard she's choking on every other word.
I stare at her and bite back a groan. This isn't my kid. Dani has her share of occasional meltdowns but this? This is over the top for her. "Sweetheart, what's going on? Why don't you want to go to dance class? You love dance."
A loud bawling wail tears out of Dani's tiny chest, too big and too gut-wrenching to ignore. She's in full-blown Chernobyl meltdown, and I falter and turn to the doorway of Dani's bedroom when I sense a shadow there.
Mads isn't one to hover, but she's been doing it a lot more lately. And she looks as gutted by Dani's tears as I feel. She's been on edge too, reverting back to the mood she'd stayed in when Pamela first dumped her with me. Mads snaps her replies and stays cooped up in her room when she isn't working or with Dani.
And I know why.
It's one thing to know Lindsey's in the hospital and unable to be there because of it, but I didn't allow the girls to go visit, informing them that Lindsey needed rest more than company. That worked. Then. But she got out of the hospital yesterday. And when Madi came home from work, demanding to know why Lindsey is now staying at Bronwyn's—WWIII began.
Dani's red face suddenly turns pale, and her eyes widen before she opens her mouth and empties her stomach all over her belly, my shoe and the floor.
Madi makes a gagging-groaning sound, and I say Dani's name, sounding angry when I don't mean to.
The moment she's done, she sobs harder, louder, and I wonder if my eardrums are going to explode.
Vomit doesn't faze me at this stage in my life, but the crying is fraying my last nerve. I sigh and dig deeper for patience, more or less coming up empty. "Come on, baby girl. Let's get you cleaned up."
I ignore the mess for now and grab a crutch, leaving one behind so I can urge Dani down the hallway to the bathroom with a hand between her narrow shoulders. She's still crying. And I hear her mumble "Lindsey" over and over again.
I get Dani stripped down and into a warm shower, even going as far as offering to let her have my shaving gel to play with as a distraction. She just shakes her head and pulls a towel into the shower with her, wrapping it over her head to hide under while the water rains over her.
I plop down atop the toilet and set to work cleaning myself up, letting Dani take some time to calm down and hoping the spray of the water will somehow work magic on both of us. The shower thing is a trick I learned by accident when Dani had the flu. But the comfort it usually brings seems to be missing today as Dani continues to sit there and sob.
Being a single dad has never been easy, but in the last few days, things have heated up. I feel guilty and to blame because I know why that is. But I can't alter the course. It will only mean more damage if I do. "Dani," I say softly, my voice emerging soft but gruff. "What's going on, baby girl?"
"I want Lindsey," she chokes out, sniffling.
"Dani, I know you miss her, but she's staying with Bronwyn."
"Why? Why is she staying there? Why isn't she coming home?"
