“Sounds like you were better off with your grandparents,” he says quietly, thumb stroking the back of my hand.
The smallest smile tugs at my lips, and I nod. “I was. I was miserable there, but here I slowly started to climb out of that. My family has money, lots of it. For generations my family has been inthe wine business, and they’ve done well. But I wanted to make my own life, and I’ve been trying to do that. To pay and pave my own way, despite Gran reminding me that one day I’m going to inherit plenty from her.”
“I understand that,” Wyatt nods, and I peer over at him. He’s staring down at the waves crashing against the rocks, the white water splashing up and drenching the boulders so often that the warm sun has no chance of drying them. “The need to create your own path.”
Turning on the bench, I bring one leg up to rest on it as I face him. Our hands lay in my lap, the wolf on his forearm peering at me with those haunted eyes. It says it knows what I’m about to do and doesn’t approve. Howls at me in the wind coming off the ocean to stop and reconsider. It makes me wonder, briefly, if that’s what Wyatt’s brother would do if he knew what was to come.
When Wyatt turns his green eyes in my direction, I know he sees it coming, and it breaks my heart.
“One of the stipulations of me leaving Sonoma was that I’d help my grandparents. Keep an eye on them. Do the things they were getting too old to do. I swore I would, even at seventeen, but I carry that even closer to my heart now, years later, after all they did for me.”
Shaking my head, I try my best to keep the tears at bay when the light in his eyes dim, but they pool anyway. “I really thought I could make room for you in the plan, but after thinking I’d lost Gran, I just…”
Unable to look at him any longer, I turn my head towards the water, my chest filling with splinters that slash me from the inside out with each breath. For a long moment, he doesn’t move, and I don’t say a word, but then I feel his gentle fingertips at my jaw, pulling my gaze back to his.
It’s only been a few weeks. It shouldn’t hurt like this. It’s stupid that it does. It hasn’t been long enough to feel this much. But his eyes tell me he feels it too, and maybe that’s what has the tears finally spilling over. I’ve opened up to him. Told him things I don’t normally share. It’s because of that, I’m feeling the way I do. Feeling every little piece of the loss about to come.
“I need every moment I can get with her, because one day the only thing I’ll have left are the memories, and I want as many of those as I can,” I tell him, my voice dropping as the thickness of emotion clogs my throat. “It’s my job to take care of her the way she took care of me.”
“Which means there’s no room for us,” he concludes, clearing his throat on the last word.
Our hands are gripping onto each other’s, like neither one of us wants to let go, but the heat of the day has our palms sweating, and it feels like he’s going to slip out of my grasp. My free hand presses against my stomach, trying to calm the dread pooled there as I shake my head.
“I’m sorry.”
That’s when he makes the first smile I’ve ever seen him fake. I didn’t even know he was capable of such a thing, but no part of it touches his cheeks or his eyes. It doesn’t light him up like it should, and I hate that it’s because of me. I’m the reason for it.
“I get it, B,” he nods, and the smile climbs a little further, breaking my heart a little more. Releasing my hand, he brings both of his to my face, cupping my cheeks in his palms. “Friends?”
I should tell him no. I should tell him that it’ll be too hard. That I won’t be able to be around him or see him with some other girl who is going to be the luckiest in the world. But I also know the reality of the situation, and how small our circle is.
And truthfully, I don’t want to fully let him go. I’m selfishenough for that.
So I nod. Despite my chest caving in over the idea. Despite knowing that it might break me. Despite wondering what it might do to him knowing the way he looks at me. I can’t deny him this.
“Definitely.”
Wyatt presses a kiss to my forehead and releases me. As I get to my feet, my knees nearly buckle when his smile drops and he averts his gaze towards the water. One sole tear slides down his cheek, his throat bobbing with a swallow. It kills me. Makes me want to take every word back. But I don’t. I press a hand to his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before I leave him there, sitting on my favorite bench, looking out over my favorite part of the ocean, watching that lone surfer I’m almost positive is Brody.
I hope it is. I hope maybe someone can pick up any pieces I just left Wyatt in.
Chapter 22
Wyatt
Givingherthirtysecondsto walk away before I look over my shoulder, I find her walking across the street to her little red coupe. It’s another half a minute before she’s opening the door, but before she gets in, her head twists in my direction, and even from this distance I can feel her eyes lock with mine. Like there’s some kind of tether binding us together, but that string is so taut with tension it’s ready to fray and break.
I’m ready to break.
Emotion has my eyes feeling raw, my throat thick. I was well on my way to being in love with Bryn. The future was a beautiful one with her in it. My dream girl. Every piece of her lifted straight from my fantasies.
Even from here I see her deflate. A second later she gets into her car, and fuck if I didn’t wish that moment of hesitation had her running all the way back here.
There was no talking her out of it. It was plain as day when her tears mostly cleared after we sat down. No wild eyebrow movements, no working of her jaw. Flat, sullen, decided. She came here today on a mission to end things between us. No amount of me begging or pleading would have changed that, so I didn’t try.
Not because I didn’t want to. I did.
She wants to spend all her time with Gran? Great, let’s take Gran on our dates. If Bryn loves her that much, the woman mustbe fun. It could be a blast, and I’d love to get to know a piece of Bryn that clearly loves her, especially when she has such questionable parents.
