“We are going to tackle this one step at a time. Four o’clock is our cutoff. Got it. What do you need from me?” I was starting to think someone to vent to wouldnotbe his answer.
Nearly seven hours would give us time to tackle anything.
“Can you set things on fire?” It was the look on his face more than the words coming out of him that stumped me… and scared me slightly. “Being gay isn’t contagious and I won’t touch you or look at your ass or make you interact with my family as long as you can teach me how to set meat on fire by four.”
My neighbors just kept getting weirder and weirder.
“I’m not an idiot. I know it’s not contagious and my ass isn’t anything to write home about.” That wasn’t actually the weirdest sentence I said lately, so I didn’t trip over it at all. “We’ll come back to that family part, but to start with, show me the grill.”
Fuck.
“After I finish getting dressed,” I added. I should’ve known better than to lounge around in my pajamas so late in the morning.
“I wasn’t going to say anything and they’re very cute.” He frowned. “Um, cutely masculine?”
“They’re fucking Rainbow Bright.” How my sister had found the fabric I would never figure out. “I’m not going to have the ‘manly’ versus ‘not manly’ debate with you again.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Hmm.
Nope. I wasn’t going to ask about that either.
“Where is the grill?” What should’ve been an easy question stumped him.
“Um… well… in my garage?” His squirming made me wonder what the fuck he’d done, but it was his forcefully bright smile that really set off my trouble radar. “In my garage.”
He’d definitely done something.
“Alright. Give me five minutes to save my work and to get changed.” Contrary to how I looked, I’d actually been working. “You are going to sit down and take some deep breaths. We’ll figure this out as soon as I get over to your place.”
He didn’t look any less guilty but he nodded right away. “Yes, deep breaths. I can do that.”
I had some serious doubts about that, but I didn’t point it out. “Good. Five minutes.”
It took him a few long moments to realize he had to start moving and get out of my doorway, but eventually he stepped back and did his five-minutes reminder over and over as he ran across my front yard.
He was going to kill my grass.
“Five minutes.” Lord. “Most important things first.”
That included making another cup of coffee in a large to-go mug, saving my work, and then putting on clothes that clearly made me look entirely too straight. I wasn’t sure how jeans and a T-shirt could do that to a person but they did.
Especially if Rainbow Bright would make me look straight too.
That was the last time I took a bet from my psychotic sister about anything.
I was hoping he’d have calmed down by the time I got to his place, but he hadn’t. Somehow, I was pretty sure he was even more jittery but that might’ve been because the damned thing was literally all over his garage.
“What the fuck?” I wasn’t going to apologize even if he did wince. “There’s got to be a thousand pieces.”
Every screw, panel, and knob were individually packaged.
“Um, I got a really good deal… from China?” He looked around at the possibly organized chaos. “I didn’t realize they weren’t exaggerating when they said assembly required.”
He’d Temu’d the damned thing.
Deep breath in.
