Ignore the crayons.
Boring.
Boring.
Boring.
Oh dear.
It had fruit and burgers and veggies on it.
“For fuck’s sake. How about you guys be subtle for once?” Daddy’s eyes went round and round again as we sat down. “I told you not to talk about it unless we brought it up.”
Unless I forgot and called him Daddy.
“You didn’t know you’d already been a Daddy.” His sister was so excited her hands waved around. “You wouldn’t have brought it up and then he’d have worried. This way he knows we’re happy no matter what makes you guys happy. It’s ripping the bandage off so we don’t have to drag it out.”
I wasn’t sure if there was logic in that or not, but Daddy was in charge of family stuff, so I just let him talk.
“No, it’s making Rhodes uncomfortable because you took his agency away from him… and me.” Daddy was really good at telling everyone they were naughty. “Now, you’re both going to pretend to be normal until he gets to know you better and then you can be weird and nosy.”
Was that how family was supposed to work?
His mother ignored them both and smiled at me. “We’ve been very excited to meet you, so you’ll have to forgive us. Knightly has just said so many wonderful things about you.”
Oh, she was good.
I could see why Daddy said she was so scary… it was like the nice thing but bigger-bigger nice.
Hmm.
Maybe the universe had given Daddy a crazy family so mine didn’t seem as bad?
“Thank you.” I wasn’t going to lie and tell them Daddy had said nice things. He hadn’t. “I’m excited to meet you too.”
As long as excited just meant I had bugs in my tummy instead of food.
Look boring.
Look boring.
Look boring.
Don’t look at the page.
Don’t look at the fruit that needs colors.
Don’t look at the crayons.
I was going to need two milkshakes… and lots of fries because salad was just decorations.
Hands in my lap.
Leave the crayons alone.
Sit straight.
“I’m going to do my best to pretend you’ve behaved, so let’s move past this awkward part.” Daddy didn’t look like he wanted to pretend or move past their behavior, but it was going to make me look better later. “He’s long term and remember, I’ll hold a grudge even if he’s polite.”
