Corvus
Hudson stepped out onto the patio, already frowning at me. It was well past midnight, probably near two or three in the morning. I’d tried sleeping, but it was evading me. I could have stayed with Kip and Michelle another night, but I’d wanted to spend the evening with Kreed and Hudson, especially after Kreed had called to inform me my parents had been arrested, one of the heftiest charges being child fucking pornography.
They even had it on VHS cassettes. Videos ofmeas a little kid.
I’d wanted more details on the arrest and what I might be looking at when it came to their court cases, but I hadn’t wanted to do it over the phone. So, I’d come over for dinner and decided to stay the night.
I still hadn’t told Kip and Michelle about the child pornography, and I wasn’t sure how to. How did I tell them that fuck knew how many people had seen me as alittle kidbeing fucking assaulted? Raped? That they’d sold it and probably made copies?
“Figured you’d be out here,” Hudson mused as he took a seat on my lounger, forcing his body onto the already tight space.
I grunted and frowned at him as I scooted over, the armrest digging into my ribs and hip. “Yo, what the fuck? There are four other fucking loungers you could have picked.”
“Yeah, but they don’t have my moping best friend sitting in them, so it’s not the same,” he retorted.
I scoffed. He was such a dick sometimes.
Hudson crossed his arms over his chest and shifted, getting more comfortable, which just made memoreuncomfortable. I wasn’t a big guy, but I wasn’t exactly a twig either. And while Hudson wasn’t muscular, he was broad shouldered and took up a lot of fucking space.
“You’re such a dick,” I griped.
“Takes one to know one, or so I’m told.”
I huffed, half annoyed and half amused.
“What do you want?” I finally asked.
“To know why you’re sitting out here in the middle of the night. I heard you leave your room. Waited for you to come in, and you never did. So, now I’m coming to you.” He turned his head, looking at me. “Thought we went through this bottling up shit once already. Talk to me, Corvus, or I’m calling your Mommy and Daddy.”
“Oh, fuck you,” I muttered. They definitely wouldn’t be happy to know I was bottling up shit inside again, but old habits died fucking hard, and I was still terrified my shit would make them walk away from me. Or maybe, they’d run. Any normal, sane person would take off in the other direction to get as fast and as far away from me as they possibly could.
I came withso muchbaggage.
“You were a kid,” Hudson said quietly. “You realize that, right? Even what they recorded as recently as Thanksgiving isn’t excusable. You were a victim. You hadno ideathey wererecording what happened to you and selling it. It doesn’t matter how you try to twist it, Corvus. Theyassaultedyou. They got what they wanted from you by promising a few months of peace. People like you and me who haven’t known peace and happiness until now? We’d doanythingto grab it with both hands. No one can fucking fault you for that.”
I blew out a harsh breath. “I don’t know how to tell them any of this,” I confessed. “They have to know eventually. I know that. They’re going to find out my parents were arrested, and they’re going to find out why. I need to tell them before they find out elsewhere. But I’m fucking terrified to, Hudson.” I leaned my head on his shoulder in a rare show of vulnerability. My best friend wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “What if they decide I have too much baggage? What if?—”
The backdoor opened, cutting off my words.
“What if we still just love you anyway,chibi?” Kip asked. Kreed was behind him and Michelle. I swallowed thickly, my stomach turning, threatening to make me puke. I shrank against Hudson’s side, suddenly terrified I’d fucked all this up already.
“I called them before I came out here,” Hudson confessed.
I jerked away from him—well, as far as I could considering he practically had me trapped in the chair.
“Be pissed at me if you want, but I know if I was doing this to myself, you’d tell Kreed.” He squeezed my shoulders then stood, going to his fiancé, who wrapped his arms around Hudson and softly kissed him. “Let them take care of you, bro. They want to, and I want this for you.”
“I hate you,” I muttered, but there was no real heat behind the words.
Hudson smirked. “I know. I’d hate me, too.”
Then, he grabbed Kreed’s hand, and they walked inside, sliding the door shut behind them, officially leaving me alone outside with Michelle and Kip.
Silence stretched between us, and like the stubborn ass I could be, I refused to be the first person to break it. I was scared. I didn’t want to lose them, but I was even more afraid of them knowingeverything.
“I think maybe we didn’t lay out the rules clear enough,” Michelle finally said.
I shook my head then scrubbed my hands down my face. “No, you laid them out fine. I broke them. I’m aware of that.” I dropped my hands to my lap. “I know sorry doesn’t change what I did, Mommy. I was aware of what I was doing.”
