Kip settled on the end of the lounger. I sat up, crossing my legs. Michelle settled beside me.
“Then why did you?” she asked.
I huffed, staring down at my lap.
“Because I don’t know how to tell either of you this,” I confessed. My hands shook. I fisted them in my lap. I wanted to crawl out of my skin to escape this horrible sensation crawling through my veins—this horror and fear.
“Tell us the easy part. Let’s start there,” Kip suggested.
He hadn’t called mechibiagain since he’d first walked out here. Had I already fucked up everything? In fact, neither of them had called me by my nicknames. Everything was ruined. All my fears wereright. They were going to make me spill, and instead of me being able to fix what I’d done wrong, or even getting a punishment for breaking their rules, they would walk away because I wasright. My baggage was too goddamn much.
“Bub,breathe.” Michelle’s hands were suddenly on my face, and her pretty eyes stared into mine.
At some point, Kip had moved, and he was behind me now, dragging me between his splayed thighs. Hot tears ran unchecked down my cheeks, splashing onto Michelle’s hands.
“Whatever is going on, bub, we’ll help you. I swear we will. But you’ve got to breathe.”
“You’ll leave,” I cried.
“No,chibi, we won’t,” Kip soothed, pressing tender kisses to my bare shoulders. “We’ve got you. We’vealwaysgot you.” He tightened his hold on me. “Deep breath in, okay?”
I sucked in a long breath, forcing my lungs to expand, even though it hurt. I hadn’t even realized I’d spiraled into a panic attack until a whimper escaped my throat.
Michelle stroked her thumbs over my cheeks, never relinquishing her hold on me. “I know, bub.I know. It’ll pass. Release that breath slowly then take another deep breath.”
Once the panic attack had passed, I sank into their holds, tucking my face into Mommy’s neck and trembling through the aftershocks of my panic attack.
“You’re safe,” Michelle whispered. “You’re safe, bub, and we’re not goingany fucking where. I swear. We belong to you, you hear me?Always.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Michelle
Corvus was a wreck. I couldn’t believe he’d let himself get into this kind of state once again instead of just coming to us, but I also knew we hadyearsof trauma to undo and help him heal from. This would be a long process with a lot of bad habits to break—this being the number one—but Kip and I were in for the long haul, and we were more than ready to put in the work to help Corvus grow past this.
“Tell us the easy part first,” Kip gently coaxed again when Corvus was a bit calmer and no longer shaking between us. I stroked my hands down his arms as he sat up, sniffling and swiping at his damp cheeks. My t-shirt was wet from his tears, and though it definitely sent my sensory issues into overdrive, I ignored it.
Corvus needed and deserved all of my attention.
Corvus nodded and blew out a soft breath. He slid his hands beneath his butt and shifted so he was sitting on them. But then, he leaned back against Kip, letting Kip support his weight, likewhatever he needed to tell us would somehow be easier to utter if he could feel Kip pressing against him.
I gripped his knees.
“Take your time, bub,” I coaxed.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Then, he blurted out, in what I was coming to realize was true Corvus fashion, “My parents were arrested today for child pornography.”
What was left unsaid waswhowas the center of that child pornography. I didn’t need him to say it for me to understand. My eyes flicked up to Kip’s. Sadness for our boy and anger on his behalf burned in Kip’s dark eyes. His arms tightened around Corvus protectively, as if we could somehow protect him from what had already happened to him. What he’d already endured.
“I didn’t know,” Corvus whispered. He sniffled. “I didn’t know they were recording me.”
“I assumed you didn’t, bub,” I gently said. There was no way he could have known when he was drugged and unconscious every single time he was raped and assaulted. “What happened—noneof it is your fault. Remember that.”
“What did I do to deserve this, Mommy?” he whispered, his voice breaking. He sounded so lost. So broken. My heart splintered into pieces. He closed his eyes, his breathing hitching when he swallowed a sob. “I’m so fuckingtired.”
“You didnothingto deserve any of this, bub,” I swore. “You were, unfortunately, born to sick, twisted, fucked-up parents, but that’snotyour fault.”
“Mommy is right,” Kip told him. “You were dealt a shitty hand, but we’re here to make sure nothing else happens to you. To make sure no one else can touch you or violate you. We won’t let anyone else hurt you again,chibi. Do you trust that?”
