“Fuck, I’m coming,” he groans. He buries himself all the way inside me, pulsing and twitching as he finishes.
When the final pulses of his release are done, doubt immediately creeps in. Regret sears through my conscience like a hot iron, and I start reaching for the ground with my tiptoes. Jaxon pulls out, letting me drop both of my feet to the shack floor. One of my shoes has fallen off, and I don’t know where my panties are, but he doesn't back up to give me space.
He kisses me again, but this time I feel awkward and ashamed. I splay my hand on his chest and push gently, trying to turn my head away, but he doesn't seem to get the point until I shove him.
I'm embarrassed I got so carried away and let him have me like that. Sex is the last thing we should’ve done. I still carry so much resentment, besides the fact that he can't know about Mercy.
"What?" he mumbles, backing away. His dick is slowly deflating as I grope around in the darkness for my panties. I don't find them, but I do find my shoe, which I slap on my foot hastily.
"That was a huge mistake," I grumble, feeling my cheeks cook me. As if my mixed-up emotions weren't bad enough, now I have to deal with the fact that I had sex with him when I should've told him how I really felt and walked away. He just has that pull over me.
"Em, come on… Don’t be like that." He reaches for me, and I push his hand away.
"No, Jaxon. I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have let you kiss me. It was just physical impulse and it was wrong. And I have to go…" I shake my head and sigh. "I have to go," I repeat, walking out of the shack.
My ankles roll in the loose sand, but I move as quickly as I can away from him, back toward the faint light of the few shops that are still open after sunset. What on earth did I do?
9
JAXON
Dad's company truck is a beat-up F-150 with a cracked windshield and a passenger seat buried under invoices, and the steering wheel is sticky from God only knows what. But it runs and it gets me where I need to go, which is more than I've had since I got home almost three weeks ago. He didn't offer it willingly, either. Mike suggested it after I told him I'd be walking to job sites, and Dad grumbled several complaints, but he did end up tossing me the keys.
First day of work—I never thought I'd be pouring foundations for my father's construction company, but here I am, returning to something I swore I'd never do. I didn't bother trying to look around for work. With the sentiment I've endured from a few folks, I figure no one else would look at my resume twice. And I have to get something going. I can't live without an income, and the VA's going to take forever with my benefits. Life comes at you funny sometimes.
It's been four days since that wild moment in the lifeguard shack and I haven't seen Emily since. She told me it didn't mean anything, that it was a mistake, getting caught up in the moment.And I know what she said, but I don't believe her. No woman gives herself so freely like that unless it means something. I'm choosing to believe it means I have a shot with her, even if it takes a while for me to win her over again, which I intend to do—no matter how long it takes.
I pull into a spot in front of the Carolina Crumb and kill the engine. The bakery opens at seven thirty and there's already a line out the door. I wait for a gap in the crowd and head inside, scanning the counter for her, but she's not there. Leah's working the register, handing out bags and making change. She looks like coffee is the only thing propping her eyes open, which is how I feel. I just need the coffee first.
"Hey, Jaxon." She greets me without slowing down, already reaching for a cup. "Coffee and a blueberry muffin?"
"You remembered."
"Hard to forget the only guy in Beaufort who orders a plain black coffee." She pours it and grabs a muffin from the case, bagging it up. "Emily's not in right now. She just stepped out for a minute, walked down to the corner. She'll be back any second if you want to wait."
"I've got to get to work, actually. First day." I drop a few bills on the counter. "Tell her I stopped by?"
"Will do." Leah winks and moves on to the next customer. It's disappointing that Emily keeps dodging me. It's like she knows this is the time of day I'll come in so she purposefully has errands to run. But I'm not going to let it discourage me.
I grab my coffee and muffin and push through the door out onto the boardwalk. The morning air is warm and the sun is already bright, that early May heat that promises a brutal summer. I takea sip and look up the block toward the corner, figuring I might catch Emily on her way back.
And I do catch her. But she's not alone.
She's standing on the corner next to a school bus with a little girl. The girl is small, maybe six or seven, with dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and a pink backpack that's almost as big as she is. Emily is crouched down in front of her, smiling, saying something I can't hear from this distance. She pulls the girl into a hug and presses a kiss to her forehead, and the girl laughs and squirms away. Then she climbs the steps onto the bus and disappears inside, and Emily stands there on the sidewalk watching until the bus pulls away.
I stand there gawking at her without any shame. I don't know what on earth I'm even looking at. And it happens so fast, I hardly have a chance to wrap my brain around it.
Emily has a kid?
My mind whirs to life, too tired to think straight but snapped to attention immediately. No wonder Emily pushed me away and told me that sex shouldn’t have happened. If she has a kid, it means responsibility and maybe she thinks I won't be up for the challenge. But then she never told me she had a kid, and there were plenty of times for her to do that—the Easter egg hunt, over coffee… When she stormed out of that lifeguard shack and left me standing there speechless.
My phone buzzes and I pull it out to answer it, seeing Dad's number on the caller ID. I glance up at Emily one more time to see her walking back with her head down as I answer the call.
"Where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here at seven thirty."
"I'm on my way." I unlock the truck and climb in, setting the coffee in the cupholder. "Ten minutes."
"Make it five." He hangs up, but all I can do is sit there a few more seconds watching Emily. She still hasn't seen me, which I'm not sure is a bad thing. She's obviously trying to hide the fact that she has a kid, but I'm not sure why.
