EPILOGUE
JAXON
I've done two combat tours, disarmed a roadside IED with shaking hands in 120-degree heat, and walked point through terrain that wanted to kill me. None of that compares to standing at the end of this aisle waiting for Emily to walk toward me in her white dress. Simple, right? So why do I feel like vomiting?
The beach setup turned out good. I'll give the wedding planner that much credit. I didn't care about the details the way Emily did, but I told her I'd give her whatever she wanted, and I meant it. So there are flowers on an arch and lanterns stuck in the sand and chairs lined up in rows, and honestly, it all looks great. My only job today is to not pass out before she gets down here.
Mike stands next to me, looking way too comfortable in his suit. "You good?" he asks, nudging me with his elbow. I asked Dad to be my best man, and he refused. He said I need someone else to do it because he had no interest in standing up here "letting the whole world watch me cry." I had to chuckle. It's not the worst thing they'd have seen him do.
"I'm good," I tell him, resolving not to let this screw with my head.I've been through worse. I'll survive this.
"You don't look good. You look like you're about to puke."
"Gee, thanks, Mike." I chuckle and suck in a deep breath, trying to get my lungs to inflate far enough to push away my nerves.
Dad sits in the front row in his suit and tie looking healthier than he has all year. Ten months sober, and I'm so proud of him. Cole and Son's is growing beyond our wildest imagination, thanks to that jerk Langford who opened up the whole city to the idea that we could be more. Heaps of businesses called us asking for upgrades and the city is using land slotted for new apartments to build a sanctuary for wild turtles. All of it’s going through the company. It's such a bright silver lining for us.
With just a few minutes left before the ceremony, I feel the urge to go find Emily and make sure she’s okay. I know this morning when she woke up she was flighty. She texted me seventeen times in under ten minutes asking if I thought this was a mistake, and I know she still has lingering doubts.
But if my putting this ring on her finger doesn't put her heart at ease, I'm not sure what will. I stomp off the wooden dais we erected for this ceremony, leaving Mike behind, and stalk over to the tent put up just for the bridal suite. But when I tug on the bell to announce my presence, the reception I get isn't the warm one I hope for.
Leah opens it and immediately tries to close it on me. "No."
"Come on, Leah. One minute—let me see her."
"She's gonna kill you, Jaxon." Leah is doing her maid of honor duty, but I'm pretty set that I need to see my bride.
"Probably." I laugh. "But let me in anyway."
Leah gives me a look that could curdle milk, then steps aside. Susan's in the corner fussing with Mercy's dress. Mercy spots me and waves her flower girl basket at me like a sword, tossing petals everywhere, which Susan scowls at. This kid is the one running the show and no one even realizes it.
"Hey, kiddo, where's Mom?" I ask before I see Emily. Mercy points across the tent, where Emily is standing near the back tent flap with her back to me. When she turns around, I forget why I even came in here. I forget most things, actually. Nothing even registers except how beautiful she looks.
"You're breaking the rules," Emily hisses, but she's already walking toward me. I see the worry creasing her brow and use my thumb to brush it away.
"Wouldn't be the first time," I say with a grin. "Em, I just needed to see you for a second. I wanted to make sure you're okay."
Her eyes go glassy and she punches my shoulder. "If you ruin my makeup right now, Jaxon Cole, I swear to God."
"An hour and fifteen minutes of work!" Leah shouts from across the room.
Emily laughs and shoves me toward the door. "Go. Stand at the end of that aisle and wait for me." But I protest, stopping at the door with her hand still in mine.
"You’re sure you're okay?" I ask again, realizing maybe it's me who's not okay. This is a huge step, and what if I fail her somehow or let her down?
"As long as you're at the end of that aisle waiting for me today and come home to me every night after work, we'll be fine."
I kiss her forehead before she can dodge it and head out.
When I get back to the beach, the chairs are filling up and people are talking. I take my spot at the arch and roll my shoulders and try to slow my breathing. Mike grips my shoulder hard, loosening me up, but until this is over, I have a feeling I’m going to be tense anyway.
For years as teenagers, Emily and I planned this exact day. I'd have been happy with a ring and a courthouse, but she wanted a beach wedding with wildflowers and pretty dresses. When I went off to Parris Island for bootcamp, I figured that was the future I'd come home to. Then along the way, that dream got lost, marred by time and trauma. And when I came home, I figured the dream was over and had no hope for this very day.
Today, I am amazed at how far I've come in one year, how much things have changed. It isn't exactly the way I imagined it to be when I was just a kid, but it's real. And maybe in some ways it's better. Emily and I have seen the worst out of each other and we still love each other. That's something a lot of men and women can't say. And I'm proud to know she loves me enough to forgive me.
The music starts and everything goes quiet. Mercy comes down the aisle first, dropping petals haphazardly. She takes her spot at the front and gives me a thumbs-up. A few people laugh about it. She's a ham and an attention hog, but all eyes are on the back as Emily turns the corner on Tom's arm. My chest cracks wide open.
She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. All my life, this woman is the only thing I've ever wanted. She is my heart and my soul, my reason for hanging on in those dark days, and my true reason for coming home, even though I didn't realize it atthe time. I love her beyond life itself and no words would ever express how deeply I commit to taking care of her every day for the rest of her life.
