“May I ask why?” I inquired, with a boldness that radiated all the pettyfuck youenergy in the world.
Brandi had nothing on me, and already being well established at the bottom of the food chain, I had nothing to lose either.
“Because… they’remine.” She declared, and didn’t need to say anything more to get her point across.
I heard her. Loud and clear.
The only problem was…
I didn’t give a flying fuck.
Overthepastthreedays, Brandi had been nothing more than a frigid cuntsicle toward me, which was to be expected, seeing as she saw herself as the prized favorite of the owners—whomever the other one was…
Have you ever despised someone so much that the moment you were face-to-face, all you could think of was just how amusing it would be to strike a match and set their entire being on fire right before your eyes? Yeah… that was Brandi for me.
It also had me questioning whether that was how people perceived me on the red carpet… The same holier-than-thou attitude.Goddamn, she was frustrating as hell.
Not going to lie, it sucked being at the bottom of the ladder for once, but I had to admit, it was a refreshing change of perspective. I felt less pressured to be liked and more inclined to be authentic to who I truly was—to be me, uncensored and unapologetic. I almost felt bad for how I treated Marissa during our last encounter—almost.
I hadn’t seen Levi since he hired me a little over a week ago, reliving a connection that matched the same fierce fire that I’d felt on the first night we met. Brandi’s claim started gnawing at me the longer I went without seeing him. I wondered if what she’d stated was true and if he was just toying with my emotions, cheating on her, or both. Similar to Tobias in that sense.
I suppose my biggest worry was what I would see when he eventually showed up. Would she run to him? Would he embrace her like the lover she claimed to be? Or would he shove her aside and seek me out instead?And why the hell did any of this matter?
Pulse was closed from Sunday through Wednesday, which meant my time to get better acquainted with my somewhat version of a stage was extremely limited.
One of the more recently hired dancers, Vanessa, mentioned that as long as the doors were unlocked, I could come in an hour before opening to practice in the cages. On my first night, I struggled to maneuver inside them, as I had to adjust my movements to accommodate the small platform and limited space.
It wasn’t tiny by any means; the diameter was wide enough for my height lying down, but that wasn’t sufficient to perform any variation of dramatic flair that I was used to doing on an open movie set.
Honestly, I understood why I was shoved into the back-end cage now. To save myself the embarrassment while I figured my shit out.
For this evening’s shift, I wore something more in line with the other dancers after realizing I wasn’t garnering as much attention as they did. An almond white, waffle-textured bikini with color-matched fluffy leg warmers that flared out enough at the base to conceal my black heels.
In my first two shifts, I also learned that wearing accessories that flowed with the movement of my body added to the aesthetic and overall attraction, so naturally, I went to a fabric store early this morning and bought a yard of each white and black spandex fabric, cutting them into strips and tying a few around my thighs, biceps, and waist.
My blush pink wig was washed and restyled with loose beach waves, and my makeup was more smoky than usual—the first attempt had been unsuccessful and only escalated the more I tried to fix it. I had managed to stop just short of reaching the level of a raccoon.
Climbing into my assigned cage, I left the latch propped open instead of locking it like I typically would during a proper shift. Since the club was still closed and, to my knowledge, empty, I found no need for the extra step.
As I inserted my Bluetooth headphones into each ear, I pulled out my phone, scrolling through several dance playlists before deciding on a song for practice.
Settling on “In The Dark” by Dev, I hit play and closed my eyes.
I sank into the song as I leaned back against the metal bars, my warm skin cooling from the touch and pebbling at the chill that trailed down my back.
Taking a deep breath, I relaxed, letting the beat guide my body as I twirled to grip the bars and rocked from side to side while gradually lowering myself down to the platform and forgetting all forms of space and time.
Letting the rest of my mind drift with the music, I released my hold and melted into the floor, imagining myself floating on a cloud in the night sky, my hands reaching above my head to graze the bars on the opposite side of the cage as if they were stars I could touch.
I then rolled onto my stomach, lifting my hips and pushing my ass out as I imagined the one man who had failed to escape my mind behind me, holding them firmly in his grip as I begged for him to rail me into the ground.
God, I needed sex…I had been craving the high from Levi—eager for him to finish what he’d started and to give me everything I was still missing. But fucking strangers on the street wasn’t even a consideration, and there was only so much I could do to replicate the feeling of him.
When I could feel my ass reach the bars, I rose on my knees and fell back, grabbing hold of them as I pulled myself to stand,imagining his hard body behind mine as I pressed myself against the metal and started moving in a slow rhythmic grind.
There was desperation, and then there was me. Far from the definition and falling apart, the longer I wished and waited. It took me until now to fully understand the meaning behind the phrase ‘I will ruin you’, because that was precisely how I felt. Ruined to the extent that if I couldn’t have him, nothing in this world would ever satisfy me the same.
Money can’t buy happiness, but an earth-shattering fuck most definitely would…
