Chapter 39
Tessa
Levi’shesitationwaswastingwhatever time we had. If he was out here, that meant Lucas was still inside with the man I was supposed to kill.
“Levi, I understand your reluctance and concern, but we don’t have time for this. I can kill him—I willkill him.”
He wrapped his hands around my head, cradling it with palms pressed into my cheeks as he captured my undivided attention, eyes frantically scanning mine for any sign of doubt. I could see his fear in them, clear as day, and it made my heart sink to know that I’d elicited that from him. That I’d exposed a weak spot in a man so resilient.
“I’d forfeit my life for yours if the need arose.” His words were as tight as his jaw, reflecting the struggle he faced and the internal war he refused to end. Trembling, shaking, I don’t even think hehad taken a single second to breathe, his lungs locking away what air he had left.
I’ve never seen him in a state like this.
“That’s not how this works, Levi, and you know it.” The horror that filled his eyes gave it away from the day he brought it up. “Where’s that tough guy attitude? The one that screams fuck around and find out? Did the target knock it out of you when he gave you that shiner?” I tried my damnedest to lighten the mood, anything to see him smile and take away the foreboding guilt as I ran my hands along his strong forearms.
Levi huffed an airy laugh, dropping his forehead to mine, while taking a deep, relaxing breath.
“No, babygirl. He didn’t… I just—You’re right. Let’s get you inside and finish this guy off so we can take you home,permanently.”
“I like the sound of that,allof that.”
And just like flipping a switch, he brushed his shoulders off along with the weight that had settled on them as he returned to his full height, taking one last look at me.
How hard could pulling a trigger be?
AsLeviledmeinto the venue and up the escalators to the second floor, I could feel my stomach bottoming out—a ball of bile collecting in the back of my throat and burning it to hell, exactly where this life-altering decision was about to take me.
I fought the urge to show my anxiety outwardly; Levi already seemed far calmer than he had moments ago, and I didn’t want to send him back to wherever I’d just pulled him out from.
I could do this, couldn’t I?
This was all mind over matter, no different from the entertainment industry. Everyone did shady, illegal, even borderline bat shit crazy things to get to where they were. What I was about to do was the same, just a little more bloody…
God, look at me. Going above and beyond to justify that murder is like every other stepping stone in life. Fuck, get it together, quit questioning, and just do the damn thing, T—
“Tessa.” Levi’s serious voice interrupted my thoughts just as he’d stopped us in front of an unmarked door and took my right hand in his. “Listen to me.” His voice was rough as he slid the handle of something hard, heavy, and cold into my palm. “Don’t let your emotions get the better of you. The man in that room isn’t just some innocent victim we dragged off the street. We don’t kill for the fuck of it; if that were the case, Luke and I never would’ve joined in the first place. We aren’t monsters, babygirl. There is a purpose and a much, much bigger picture that you’ll come to know later on.”
Dropping my gaze from his, I stared down at the item I now held in my hand—a pistol, the weight grounding me like an anchor.
It’s simply pulling a trigger. That’s all this is. Aim and shoot.
Levi leaned down to nuzzle the side of my head as his lips found their way to the shell of my ear.
“I love you, babygirl. No matter what decision you make right now. Fight or flee, it doesn’t matter. I’ll love you and protect you at all costs.”
My heart raced as my face flushed with a burning, prickling sensation. My lips turned numb from the wave of anxiety that crashed into me, shocking my system into reality, its severity, and my ownvolition.
“Open the door.” I breathed, unable to take my eyes off the gun as I heard the latch click. Immediately, I lifted my eyes to meet Lucas’, his handsome dimples on full display, beaming at the sight of me in the doorway.
“Sit up straight and tall, buddy, you’re in the presence of royalty now.” His light chuckle was a reminder of why I was willing to go through with this. For them,for me. Because for once in my life, I had the ability to forge my own path based on who I was and what I wanted for myself. “He’s ready for you, princess.” Lucas patted the restrained man on the shoulder before stepping aside.
My target was in one of the lounge chairs, a bungee cord tightly secured around his chest limiting his movement, and a rope bound his legs together to prevent running. There was also a thick piece of black duct tape placed across his mouth, muffling any screams or grunted curses he had as he squirmed for survival.
Watching him struggle reminded me of the back alley—the man who tried to assault me, whom I’d envisioned in this exact position, at my fucking mercy. I cocked my head to the side, lifted the gun, aiming as best I could for the center of his head. My hollow, mindless gaze locked on his.
A fog crept over me, my palms starting to hum and tremble against the metal as I sawthemin his darkened eyes. Demoralizing, stripping me down the longer I stood in his presence.
I saw Marissa, preaching about how far I had fallen from my throne as she claimed everything I once held, all for herself. Then there was Brandi, calling me a psycho and trying her fucking hardest to convince my husbands that I didn’t deserve them or their love.
