“Stop…” I shut my eyes and held up a hand to interrupt, unable to process the rest of what she had to say. “You don’t need to do this. I’m over it—overhim. It was nothing more than a weekend of fun and sex, and—”
“Bullshit.” Tiffany scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest while cocking her head to the side. “Believe what you want with that tough girl attitude of yours, but I know I’m right. If you truly didn’t give two shits about that weekend, orhimfor that matter, you wouldn’t be staring over my shoulder at his studio door rightnow with longing eyes just waiting for the lights to turn on.”God damnit… she was right…“Uh-huh, figured as much... You can be a mopey bitch all you want right now, but don’t lie about your feelings, especially to me. I may be younger, but I can see right through that fake-ass façade. Feigning indifference won’t give you the closure you need—”
“I don’t need fucking closure. You think I asked for this, Tiff?” Words exploded from my mouth without a second thought, as the overwhelming frustration finally consumed me. “I didn’t expect to fall for him, but you convinced me to give the man a shot, and I did, and now look what happened. I—”And there it was. The fragment of truth that I’d been fighting against. The realization of what really happened that weekend…
I fell in love…
“I told you to give him a shot, not your heart on a silver platter the moment you ran away to the countryside. That was a choice you made of your own free will.” She held her hands up before backing away toward the door. “But I digress. You clearly still need time to process—whatever you’ve got going on…” With a deep breath, she shook her head, hand dropping to the handle, giving it a light push. “I’ll see you at home… I’m here when you’re ready to talk. Again, no judgment. The only one making a mountain out of a molehill here is you.”
Without another word, Tiffany left the studio, and I fell over the counter, face buried in my palms with a groan so loud it nearly breached a scream.
I’d become a hot mess, unable to strip Rhylan from my mind, and so I did the only rational thing I could think of. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I sent him a heavy-worded text since I’d stolen his number while he was distracted in the kitchen, cooking us breakfast…
Me: Fuck you. Fuck you for leading me on, fuck you for walking away, and most of all fuck you for making me believe that you actually wanted me; for making me fall for you. You’re no better than the rest, always quick to leave with no regard for the shattered mess you leave behind.
I was angry.
I was pissed the fuck off…
Acoupleofhourslater, I’d cooled off and came to my senses, and I regretted our argument–ripping my sister’s head off and blaming her for my lack of self-control.
Tiffany had always been there for me, a supportive cheerleader that only wanted what was best for me, and I was being a total bitch for no reason aside from protecting my own stubborn pride—the thin shred of dignity I had left.
As I logged off the front desk computer and crouched behind the counter to pack the rest of my things, the bell above the door rang, and I shot up, hoping it was Tiffany so I could apologize andmake amends for losing control of my emotions. But the second I stepped around the desk, I was met with a darkened gaze that rendered me motionless on the spot.
My heart caved at the sight of Rhylan, and my brain immediately hijacked the urge to throw myself at him as if everything was okay. As if he didn’t hurt me with his actions, or lack thereof.
I hated that I missed him…
Your will is stronger than this…
Be cool, be cool, be cool… fuck me.
“What now, Rhy? What the hell do you want?” I was exhausted—from the emotional whiplash, from pretending I didn’t care, from fucking…everything.
He made me spiral, he drove me insane, and what’s worse was that I was attracted to the chaos he caused. And if that wasn’t enough fuel added to the fire that burned the bridge between us, my indifference must’ve set him off completely because Rhylan was on me faster than the speed of light.
“You. I wantyou, haven’t you figured that out by now?” He backed me up against the wall, and my lungs stalled beneath my ribs once his body pressed into mine, pinning me in place. “Was that not clear when I brought you home? When we made fucking love?” His eyes held onto mine, and I let them, unwilling to tear my gaze from his, even if it killed me. Rhylan was intense, but the fierce desire that sparked whenever he was nearby gave me all the sense of security in the world. “I’m not like the others.” His breath caressed the side of my neck as he lowered his lips, and I shut myeyes, begging for them to touch me. “I’ll always come back for my Wildcat. And that’s a promise I’ll take to my fucking grave.”
He could whisper sweet nothings all he wanted; paint my world in the brightest colors imaginable, but that still didn't make up for the fact that I woke to an empty bed, only to be driven home by a total stranger.
“You fucking left me, Rhy. And not just that morning, for an entire week with no text, no phone calls–nothing to even check in for reassurance. Just some fucked up note on a pillow saying you’re ‘sorry’. And then you come in here expecting me to… What? Welcome you back with open fucking arms? To let you bend me over the counter and fuck me? Is that all I am to you? An easy lay?” Every thought I had since that morning unleashed itself as I brought my arms up and bashed my fists against his chest, fighting the hold he had on me. But there was no give. He wasn’t backing down like before, not this time; his grip only tightened the harder I struggled.
“Well, first of all, I don’t have your number; until that text you sent this afternoon. You’ve never given it to me.”Well, shit…“And secondly, I’m here now, aren’t I? And no… You are far from any of that…” Rhylan’s tone was aggravatingly calm, soothing me while I was ready to burst into flames, burning him down with me.
“Where did you go? Why a week? What were you doing?” The questions spewed from my lips as if he owed me that information for all the time I spent thinking about him, drowning in my thoughts.
“I can’t tell you any of that, darlin’. You’ll have to trust me on that.”
“Why not?” He hesitated with his response, remaining silent. “Fucking answer me, Rhy!”
“I’m here now, Dakota.” He repeated, as if saying my name would make any difference.
“That’s not good enough!” I screamed, whipping him so hard across the face that my palm throbbed and tingled with pain from the impact. I could only imagine how his cheek felt as it began turning a deep shade of red.
Just like the shake incident, Rhylan held his composure, and where I thought there would be anger for what I’d done, there wasn't. Instead of the darkness I’d assumed I’d see in his eyes, there was light; understanding…Acknowledgment. He knew he’d hurt me.
My entire body was shaking with a thousand emotions, and yet I couldn’t move.
