“Did he guess it because you are too free with him?”
“No,” said Aerhril. “It is only that it is a very obvious plan, I suppose. Anyway, it was foolish to think that I could do it. I thought perhaps it should be me because he would protect me—”
“Will he protect you?”
“Yes,” said Aerhril.
“But does he care about you? It seems he hates you.”
“Yes, I suppose he does,” said Aerhril. “He has his reasons. I have done things to hurt him.”
Hafindel lifted her chin, looking her over.
“But there are layers to his hatred of me. There is a texture to it. It is not so simple as his trying to hurt me. He wants me to suffer but he also would protect me. I am certain of it.” She swallowed. “Even so, it should not be me, and I do not say this out of cowardice, I promise you. Instead, it must be someone he never notices, someone who can slip away without his ever realizing she has slipped away.”
“I think it must be me, then,” said Hafindel in understanding.
“No, not you!” Aerhril grimaced, sitting down heavily on her own bed, which was not made, because there were not servants enough to do all the chores that needed done. “Oh, dear, actually, I suppose you would be exactly the person for it.”
Hafindel nodded briskly. “When should I go?”
“No, no, no, not you,” said Aerhril, reaching up to takethe other woman’s hands, pulling her down onto the bed next to her. “I cannot lose you. You are the only other person who knows about Celedin. You are the only person I can confide in. I will fall apart without you. You must stay.”
Hafindel was quiet.
“Say you will stay,” said Aerhril. “Say we will find someone else.”
“Who else could it be, my lady? The women who were guests at your wedding? The wardenness, perhaps, who is used to being waited on hand and foot by servants? Will she travel well in the wilderness, will she know how to build a fire or where to take shelter to sleep at night? Will she be able to find her way to some other castle further south?”
“But Hafindel—”
“How about one of the women who has a small child? That seems entirely like the sort of person we should send.”
“You have made your point,” said Aerhril, sighing, resigned. She did not want to examine the part of her that was not even truly certain they should do this atall. She did not enjoy being occupied by the orc army, of course, and she was horrified at all the death and the danger and everything else.
But she was not certain that the elves had not sort of brought it on their own heads. They had been awful to the orcs.
She was not on the orcs’ side.
But she felt she could not entirely align herself with her own people either.
And, of course, she could not say this to Hafindel, who would be horrified by such a sentiment. Aerhril said nothing of the sort, then.
“I shall go as soon as I can,” said Hafindel. “I’ll need to put together some supplies, hide them, and then I’ll need to wait for the right moment. Once I see it, I will go. We’ll say our goodbyes now. You will only know I’ve gone when you can’t find me anymore.”
“And if others ask after you, because they have not seen you, I will say that I have seen you recently, somewhere, andI’ll conceal the fact you’ve gone for some time that way.”
“It’s a good plan, my lady.” Hafindel nodded.
“But I don’t like it. I don’t like putting it on you. You have too much on your head already.”
“Well, rest easy in that it may be impossible,” said Hafindel. “There are orcs on every entrance. I am allowed out to fetch water and the like, but the well is in sight of the doors and I cannot stray. It will take some sort of miracle, some orc away from his post, some orc sleeping on watch, I cannot say. It may take weeks. It may be tomorrow. It may never happen.”
“Perhaps not,” said Aerhril, trying not to sound cheered by the fact.
“And I could also get caught and killed,” said Hafindel matter-of-factly.
“No, you must not do this thing, then!” Aerhril drew herself up. “Let us simply forget we ever spoke of this.”
