Four
The black crows haunt my dreams once again, leading me to wake up in a slight panic, taking a moment to remember where I am.
I’m lying in the four-poster bed in the guest dressing gown. Two bottles of empty champagne and a carton of Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough lie next to me on the bed. Oh, Jesus, my head. I don’t remember what time I fell asleep. I remember singing along withMamma Miaand then just lying down on the bed. I must have passed out. Well, a breakup mustisgetting drunk and watching chick flicks with ice cream, so I can tick that off my list. My head starts to ease, and I take a sip of water and look at the time. It’s only 11 pm.
I slowly sit up and get my bearings. The light outside is now dark and the streetlamps give a slight glow beneath the windows. I can hear the faint sound of an argument from below me. It takes me a second to realise it’s coming from inside the house. It’s most likely just another parent row. She’s spent too much, he has a go, then lets her spend more.
I slip out of bed and walk to the bedroom door. I slowly open it to get a better listen of tonight’sJerry Springerepisode of my parents. I slowly descend the attic staircase to the main landing.That’s when I realise it’s not my dad; it’s my mother and another woman’s voice. My mother sounds angry. The other woman is speaking softer but also trying to get a point across. Panic hits me. What if we’re being burgled? Mother is feisty so will defend herself, but she’s also no spring chicken. I stop being silent and run down the stairs into the hallway where my mother is stood at the front door.
It’s closed but a woman is standing there on the inside facing my mother. She’s old. Probably the same age as my mother but without the Botox and bleached hair. This woman has dark hair like mine but it’s streaked with silver and hangs in long waves down her back. She’s dressed in a long flowing chiffon dress made of different shades of green. She has dirty tan moccasins on her feet. They both stop mid-conversation to look at me. As I get closer, I realise this woman looks identical to my mother.
“Oh, look at her, Cassie. She’s beautiful. I’m so sorry, Harriet, did we wake you?” the woman asks with her warm voice. Her beautiful sapphire eyes glisten as they look at me.
I feel completely out of sorts. Am I still drunk? “Sorry,” I say politely, “but who are you?” My face must look so confused. My mother hangs her head down and huffs.
“Oh, Cassandra, please tell me you’ve told Harriet about me,” the woman says.
My mother brings her head back up to look at me. “Harriet, this is Aradia.” She falls silent for a moment before carrying on. “She’s my twin sister.”
My mother has clearly done everything to look different to this woman from bleaching her hair to extensive plastic surgery, but you can see it still. Under all of the plastic. They are indeed twins.
“Twin? You told me you had no siblings. No family.” I gasp in shock.
“That sounds about right. Cassandra has never been a fan ofwhere you came from, have you? It was more about where you were going, or more what you were getting.” The woman shoots my mother a look.
“Don’t come into my house and make out that I’m awful. So what if I wanted better things for my daughter than what we had? That doesn’t make me a bad person, Aradia.” Venom is in her voice.
Aradia places her hands up to calm my mother down. “Now, now, Cassie, I’m not here to have a go. I’m here for Harriet. You know this.”
“Yes, well, that’s not happening, so wasted journey and all. Lovely to see you, say hi to Mum and that’s that.” She tries to usher Aradia out of the door.
I walk down the stairs to the bottom. “Mum? So, your mum is still around? Is your whole past just a big lie then, Mother?”
My mother comes towards me and holds my hands. Her face looks worried and upset. Does my mother actually have feelings?
“Harriet, I wasn’t truthful, but it was out of protection and trying to give you everything. Which Daddy and I have done. Please believe me when I say this, my family is better not knowing. Your life is here, with me, with Greg.”
I pull my hands down and turn my attention to Aradia who is still stood near the door. I slowly walk towards her. I can smell her musky warm vanilla perfume which fills my nose with comfort. My heart feels a fullness feeling as if I have known her all my life.
“You said you were here for me? Well, here I am. So, say whatever it is that you’ve come to say.” I sound a little blunt, but I still feel very confused about this whole situation.
“Shall we sit?” She gestures to the back of the house where the garden room is.
I nod and turn to lead the way. My mother grabs my arm and looks at me with stern pleading eyes.
“I’ll allow you to listen, but please, Harriet, know that here with me you’re safe and looked after. You’ll never want for anything. You know that.”
“You’ve lied to me my whole life, Mother. Allow me to make my own judgement about my, uh, aunt.”
She turns her face up at the word aunt.
“Aunt? She’s never done anything for you, Harriet. It’s been me and Daddy and Gregory.” The venom is still hot on her lips.
I ignore her remark and carry on walking towards the garden room. Aradia follows me close behind as my mother stomps up the stairs.
“This will end in tears, Harriet. Mark my words,” my mother shouts from the landing.
Aradia takes a seat on the wicker furniture set out in the garden room. Rain is pattering down on the glass roof and trailing down the windowpanes, dancing as they fall down to the earth below them. I switch on a floor lamp which ignites the room in a soft orange glow. The radio is playing Radio 4 quietly in the background.
