She pauses in her steps, slowly turning to face me. Her disbelieving gaze meets mine, then her expression softens. "You're unique," she says in a tone that sends shivers down my spine.
She's in love with me. Undoubtedly.
But is that enough?
I'm instantly by her side, pulling her into my arms. "I've missed you," I manage to say before our lips meet. She nestles against me like a cat, giving me a feeling of warmth and security that I wish to feel every moment.
"And I've missed you even more," she murmurs between two kisses. She gently strokes my back. I let the bag fall to the ground and lose myself with her in the sea of emotions flooding my insides.
So warm. So beautiful.
Suddenly, I hear her stomach growl loudly. Laughing, I release her. "Now, let's have breakfast," I say as I make my way to the kitchenette with my bag.
I unpack the homemade spreads and the bread along with the hard-boiled eggs and cheese. There's also jam, grapes, and a few freshly picked strawberries I just swiped from Hanna's garden.
"Is all this for me?" Elina presses close to my side.
I place a napkin in the wicker basket and fill it with bread. "And so much more."
Hardly have the words left my mouth when she kisses me exuberantly. As we part, she raises hereyebrows meaningfully. "Mmm, I like that," she teases, her tongue grazing her lower lip.
Suddenly, she looks at me with a start. It's as if something just dawned on her, something she momentarily forgot. Swiftly, she averts her gaze and opens the cutlery drawer. Was she also thinking about the fact that she's already about to leave me? Swallowing hard, I reach for the spreads. On my way to the small dining table in the corner of the living room, I do everything I can to distract myself.
"Have you put together the results of the sleep study yet?" I ask, trying to shift the focus.
"I have," she sounds remorseful. I turn to face her and see her slumping shoulders as she reaches for the cheese plate.
"And? Did you find anything?" I ask, knowing how much this topic captivates her.
She places the plate on the table with a clatter. "Nope." Her pleading gaze meets mine. "Except for a missing REM phase during falling asleep, which I might have simply overlooked, there are no significant abnormalities. Nothing at all. I checked the values twice and thrice."
So it's cancer after all.
I remain frozen in place. "And now?"
She takes a step toward me, wearing her determined doctor face. "I'm thinking of something. Don't worry, we'll figure out what's wrong with you. I promise!"
Reluctantly, I nod. "If anyone can do it, it's you."
Although she acted strangely earlier, she lovingly wraps her arms around me now. "Nothing is ever lost as long as we don't give up on it," she says, sounding so confident that I suddenly feel the same way.
Gently, I return her embrace. "What would I do without you?" I ask, and at the next moment, I feel a painful pang in my chest.
"The same as I would without you." She holds me tightly, and that alone ignites hope within me that everything can still turn out fine in the end. But how could she stay here with me, giving up her greatest dream? And how could I ever live with the guilt of taking that away from her?
I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't be standing here, hugging her, knowing that I have to let her go. Yet here I am. And I hold her tightly. Because I simply can't do otherwise.
