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‘What?’ He stared at her, nonplussed. She hadn’t had a casual fling before? He was surprised; she’d seemed pretty savvy and sexually confident.
Olivia’s mouth twisted mockingly. ‘I don’t mean that I haven’t had a fling or a one-night stand before,’ she elaborated, ‘since that is obviously what you’ve just assumed. I mean...I haven’t...’ She bit her lip and then let out another gusty breath. ‘I’ve never had sex.’
* * *
Ben just stared. And stared. Olivia felt her face flush again and her insides curl up into a self-protective ball of humiliation. The look on his face. She might as well have said she had some terrible disease.
‘That’s unexpected,’ he finally said, his voice toneless, and Olivia wished she could have taken that awful, awkward confessional back. Why on earth had she admitted it anyway? She was an actress after all. She could have faked some sexual experience. Ben might never have known.
That was assuming they ended up sleeping together. Which at this point, judging by Ben’s carefully blank look, seemed pretty unlikely. Maybe he didn’t sleep with virgins.
‘It just...never happened,’ she explained, and Ben arched an eyebrow.
‘No? I’m surprised.’
‘Of course there have been opportunities,’ Olivia huffed before she could stop herself. ‘I mean, if I’d really wanted to turn in my V-card I could have done it, easily. It’s not that.’
‘No, of course not.’
‘Let’s just stop talking about this,’ she muttered. She downed the rest of her wine and then rose from the sofa. ‘Where’s the bottle?’
‘I’m not sure alcohol will help the situation, but I left it in the kitchen.’
She stalked towards the kitchen and topped up her glass right to the brim. ‘And just what is the situation, Ben?’ she asked, a rather nasty note entering her voice. She didn’t want his pity. She didn’t want him laughing at her either. She just wanted...
Him. Yes, she still wanted him. Despite the awkwardness, the embarrassment, she wanted him. Badly. Enough to have admitted her inexperience.
Ben had followed her into the kitchen and he stood in the doorway, watching her as she glugged more wine.
‘Easy there, killer.’
She glared at him over the rim of her glass. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You’re more than fine, Olivia. You’re beautiful and smart and talented and sexy as hell. If I’m surprised you haven’t had sex before, it’s just because you’re so amazing.’
Olivia’s jaw nearly dropped at his words—and his tone. Heartfelt sincerity. She’d never heard it from him, and she could tell by the slightly startled look in his eyes that he hadn’t expected to say all that. But she knew he meant it.
‘Oh.’ She put her wine glass on the granite counter with a loud clunk. ‘Well. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘You didn’t think any of that when you first met me,’ she felt compelled to point out.
‘True. I didn’t know you then. Things have changed.’
Had they changed that much? He wanted to sleep with her, but that was all. No point getting ahead of herself and going mushy over a few compliments. And in any case, maybe he didn’t want to sleep with her any more. She didn’t really feel like asking. She took another sip of wine.
‘So there were opportunities,’ Ben asked. ‘But no takers?’
‘I didn’t want it to be with just anybody,’ Olivia answered with a shrug, and then realised what she was implying about her and Ben. ‘I mean, I was never waiting for true love or something like that,’ she said quickly. ‘I just didn’t fancy it with anyone when I was younger. High school was pretty much a write-off, and in college I focused on acting. Then I was older and it felt awkward, explaining...’ She sighed. ‘About as awkward as this is.’
‘There’s no need to feel awkward, Olivia. You’ve been discerning. That’s a good thing.’
‘You think?’ she asked wryly. ‘Sometimes I wish I’d just had done with it.’
He took a step towards her, that need she’d felt from him earlier emanating from him, blazing in his eyes. ‘And now?’ he asked in a low voice. ‘Do you want me the way I want you?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. She couldn’t deny it, didn’t want to. ‘I do. I want...I want my first time to be with you.’
Heat flared in his eyes even as he shook his head, making Olivia’s hopes free-fall. ‘I meant what I said. I don’t do relationships. This will only be a fling, Olivia. A couple of weeks, max.’
