Years I might not have. And yet a life that is still possible.
Chapter Forty-Three
NYLA
‘Go home, Dr. Moore,’ I hear my boss say.
Yes, I probably should, because there’s no way I’ll be able to concentrate on work today. Besides, I have to find Jaden.
But what am I supposed to say to him? How can I make him understand that I get where he’s coming from, but that the tests are still the right thing for him? Only then will we have clarity.
‘Take your time to think everything over. We’ll talk again tomorrow.’ My boss looks relieved and sad at the same time.
I look at him intently. ‘I can do this, I promise,’ I say, whereupon he gives me a tentative smile.
We say goodbye to each other. I leave his office and, on my way to the locker room, pull the plastic bag out of the pocket of my lab coat.
Lilly’s bucket list.
Shredded into hundreds of tiny pieces of paper.
Broken, but not lost.
It’s the key, I can feel that, but I still don’t know where to find the right lock or how to get Jaden to open it.
I turn the bag in my hand, the plastic rustling softly. I barely register the throng of people in the corridor, I hear the calls onlymuffled, and I don’t feel the fleeting gusts of air my colleagues send my way as they hurry past.
Presenting something as certain when it actually isn’t was wrong of me. Even so, I have to do more than just hope he’ll decide on his own to get examined.
Brooding, I enter the locker room, get changed, and tuck the pouch carefully into my handbag. When I leave the room a little later, I still don’t have a single idea.
In my mind, I go through Lilly’s bucket list.
Adopt a dog from the animal shelter.
Get up in the middle of the night, hike up a mountain, and watch the sunrise.
Learn to dance tango.
Count the stars over Greenland.
