At least June is here now. I pull my door open and look out into the hallway, where I just see the top of Autumn’s red hair disappearing through the front door.
‘Hey, June, do you have a moment for me?’ I ask, and at the same moment I become aware of her rosy cheeks and shining eyes. She looks as happy as I could be too, together with Jaden, if he would just give in.
‘Hey, what’s going on?’ She tilts her head to the side, looking worried.
My shoulders slump forward; she comes over to me and pulls me into her arms.
‘Everything’s going to be okay,’ she whispers in my ear. ‘Believe me, I know for sure, in the end everything will be okay.’
I wish that were the truth. ‘And if it’s not?’
Her hand gently strokes my back. ‘Is it because of Jaden?’
It’s basically impossible, and yet I’ve got tears in my eyes again. My nose swells up, I start to sob.
‘Shhh,’ June murmurs and rocks me back and forth until I at least calm down a little. ‘What happened?’
‘I… he… we can’t…’ I stammer.
Gently, she creates some distance between us so she can look at me. Then her gaze wanders over my face. She looks at me the way a doctor looks at a patient. ‘Your test results were good, there’s no reason…’
I quickly shake my head. ‘I’m healthy. But Jaden…’
She steers me toward my bed and we sink down onto it. ‘What did he do?’
All at once she sounds confrontational, and despite my despair the corners of my mouth lift, because that’s just how June goes through life. She doesn’t let go, always wants to move forward, no matter how hard the road is.
But this road would be too hard even for her. They call us doctors ‘gods in white,’ yet we’re just as powerless in the face of fate as any other human being.
I let out a long breath. ‘Jaden might be sick.’
She freezes for a moment. ‘How sick?’ she asks, and I tell her about my tentative diagnosis and everything that has happened since.
The whole time, her arm rests protectively around my shoulders; she hums in understanding, asks questions, catches me when I falter.
‘And how did you come to suspect that?’ she wants to know afterwards.
‘There are indications,’ I say quickly, and I tell her about all the facts that reinforce my suspicion, and in the end she nods sadly.
‘That does sound worrying, but he definitely needs further tests. Your clues also fit dozens of other conditions that are harmless on top of that.’ Her hands gently stroke my arm.
‘Those are exactly what he doesn’t want.’ My voice is brittle. ‘How do I get him to change his mind?’
For a while we are silent, each trapped in her own thoughts, then June straightens up.
‘Okay, let’s approach this analytically.’ Motivated, she taps her chin. ‘As if his refusal to be examined were a diagnostically puzzling case.’
In the midst of my helplessness, I smile. ‘You’re crazy.’
‘Not at all.’ Now she raises her index finger. ‘We’ll start with the symptoms. What do we have?’
‘A completely distorted view of reality,’ I reply. ‘He accepts that he might be ill, but he doesn’t want clarity.’
‘Even though it could save his life.’ June jumps up from the bed. ‘What else?’
Her enthusiasm rubs off on me. ‘Fear.’
‘That’s not a symptom.’ Chewing on her lower lip, she paces up and down in front of me. ‘It’s the cause, the underlying condition, if you will.’
