I’ve never seen him like this before. Until now he’s always been the fearless golden boy, abon vivantwho knows neither pain nor grief nor fear. But now, as he lifts the phone to his ear—with that dark expression, his whole body strung tight to the point of bursting—he seems like a completely different person.
His lips move. Then he presses them together. I’d love to know who he’s talking to right now and why it’s throwing him so completely off balance.
Wait a second.
Are those tears in his eyes?
Before I can be sure, he turns his back to me. Gesticulating wildly with his free hand, he ends the call a few seconds later.
Now he slips the phone into his jacket pocket, grips the terrace railing, and stares into the distance. His upper body vibrates, his knuckles stand out, his hair trembles.
Spellbound, I stare out at him. ‘Who are you, Jaden Reynolds?’ I whisper. Whoever I’ve thought he was up to now, he obviously isn’t.
When I asked him about his future earlier, he deflected. When I told him about mine, he shut down. That call just now completely knocked him off course. And then there’s the fact of how hard he’s always trying to seem like the kind of person for whom the sun is always shining.
There’s something he’s hiding.
Maybe something that has sunk its claws deep into him? Something not even his superhero costume can help against? Something that’s eating him up, no matter how hard he fights it?
Maybe.
With a sudden jerk, he pushes himself away from the railing and heads back into the cafeteria at a pace as if he were on the run.
‘We have to go.’ He signals for me to leave the room with him. He no longer pays any attention to his sandwich, which he was so desperate to have earlier.
‘Who was that on the phone just now? Has something happened?’ I ask, slide off my stool, and reach for the life jacket.
‘Everything’s fine.’ His attempt to casually tug the corners of his mouth upward fails. ‘Come on, we have to get going again.’
I follow him into the hallway. ‘No, nothing is fine.’ He can’t seriously think I wouldn’t notice.
Instead of heading for the elevators, he makes for the stairwell. Is he afraid that the elevator would leave him too much at the mercy of me and my questions? I hesitate to follow him. Running down ten floors at the pace he’s setting right now would be an unnecessary strain during an already exhausting shift.
He slips through the door. Reluctantly, I stay behind and press the elevator call button.
What was that just now?
That question consumes me on the way down, andeven more than before, when I see Jaden again in the parking lot in front of the emergency room.
There he is, leaning casually against the ambulance next to Alex, wearing aviator sunglasses and – unbelievable as it is – an unburdened smile on his lips. As I reach the two of them, Jaden is just cracking a joke, making them both laugh.
Immediately I think of yesterday, when he persuaded me, with an almost desperately wistful look, to dance with him in the rain, even though he must have seen how hard I was struggling with myself just then.
He saw everything: the fear, the worries, and the pain. The only thing he wanted was for it to disappear. Is that exactly what’s happening now too? With the difference that this time it’s about him? About his fear, his worries, his pain, triggered by the phone call?
Or am I reading too much into his behavior?
‘4-2-6, this is Dispatch, please respond,’ booms from inside the ambulance.
The way Jaden yanks the door open and grabs the radio has something of an alcoholic who can hardly wait to taste the first sip of vodka of the day on his tongue. ‘Dispatch, this is 4-2-6, what’s up?’
The radio crackles. ‘Traffic accident, passenger car with occupant crashed off a cliff. Incident location: Route 333, near the lookout point.’
Alex, Jaden, and I immediately rush into the ambulance.
‘The caller, eighteen years old, was able to free herself from the car. Driver, female, also eighteen, still in the vehicle, unresponsive. Vehicle unstable. Police and fire department alerted.’
Jaden pulls up the emergency data on the display. The map of Halifax and the surrounding area appears, followed immediately by the route to the accident site.
