‘Come with me.’ I reach my hand out to her.
She doesn’t take it; instead, something else happens. A strange mood settles between us as we simply look at each other.
I try to read in her eyes what’s going on inside her, think I understand that there’s nothing she’d rather do than go to the fair with me, but that there’s something holding her back.
Is she worried that we’ll get as close again as we did yesterday? Does she think I’ll try to kiss her again? But why does that scare her so much? It wouldn’t mean anything more than that we both let go because that’s what we feel like doing right now. Enjoying life. Without obligations. Without questions. Without making plans.
You don’t really believe that yourself, a voice whispers inside me.
‘Please, Nyla,’ I say quietly.
She raises an eyebrow. ‘What happened to Miss Worst Case?’
She’s not important, at least not right now. ‘I just want you to feel better.’
‘I know.’ She looks down at the floor.
But if she’s aware of that, then why… ‘I don’t understand you.’ But I’d really like to.
‘It’s complicated.’ She lets out a long breath.
‘Yeah, life is complicated.’ Once again, I hold my hand out to her. ‘But being happy isn’t.’ And that’s what she should be, simply happy.
Now she lifts her lids and looks straight at me—hopeful, full of longing, a faint smile on her lips. Beautiful, she’s just plain beautiful.
I grab her hand before she can change her mind. She’s trembling slightly, but Nyla still comes with me.
Chapter Twenty-One
NYLA
The smell of cotton candy and roasted almonds hangs in the air. The screeching of the roller coaster blends with the shrill clanging of a prize booth bell, where apparently someone has just won the grand prize.
While Jaden steps onto the fairground in the dusk of the falling night and looks around, full of anticipation, my gaze roams over the other visitors.
There are too many. Too many people who could be carrying infections. In the ER I have protective clothing; here I’m exposed to them. I shouldn’t have come along, but for a moment Jaden managed something that had been impossible until now.
When he said that being happy didn’t have to be complicated, images formed in my mind. Warm and light and colorful. They made the worries that so often weigh my life down just fizzle out. Made room for longing, for dreams, for wishes. For everything I’d so love to have back in my life.
‘Okay, what do we start with?’ Jaden gives a crooked grin. ‘Kiddie carousel?’
Next to me someone opens a can of soda with a hiss, somewhere a horn blares loudly. Strings of lights flash in every color and are reflected in the eyes of the laughing fairgoers.
I point to the area with the fewest people. ‘Let’s go that way.’
We stroll off, and it takes less than a minute before Jaden, eyes shining, points to a stall offering a tin can throwing game. ‘Do you dare take me on?’
Tin can throwing is perfect for me.I raise my eyebrows, glad he picked that. ‘Do you dare?’
‘Challenge accepted.’ Jaden plants himself at the counter with exaggerated seriousness and has three balls handed to him. He takes the first, aims carefully… and misses. ‘That doesn’t count! Gravity was stronger than expected.’
I can’t help but smirk. ‘Gravity, huh?’
‘Seems pretty intense today. But now I know what I’m dealing with. The next one will clear the lot, get ready for a can fireworks display.’ He rubs his hands theatrically, throws the second ball… and hits exactly one can.
‘Wow. Absolutely breathtaking,’ I say, amused, and signal to the stall owner to give me three balls as well. ‘Think I can top that?’
‘I’ve still got one more try.’ He gets into position and takes several deep breaths. Then he throws the ball, which misses the pyramid of cans by a mile.
