He shakes his head firmly. ‘Let me look at that first.’
‘What is it?’ I lean over the patient and grab the radio myself.
‘The back of your head. You’re bleeding,’ I hear Ray say before I can press the call button.
Incredulous, I let my fingers glide over the back of my head. Sure enough, there’s something wet. ‘It’s just a scratch,’ I say and pull my hand away.
My fingers are covered in blood.
‘Yeah, right, just a scratch …’ Ray replies.
Whatever, that will have to wait. I quickly clean my hands and activate the radio. ‘Dispatch, this is 3-4-2, come in.’
‘3-4-2, this is Dispatch.’
Keeping my eyes fixed on the monitors, I relay all the important information. ‘Arrival at Halifax Harbor Hospital in approximately twenty minutes.’
Hopefully the man holds on. At the moment his readings are reasonably stable, but that can change quickly.
The radio crackles. ‘Confirmed, 3-4-2. Stand by.’
‘Understood,’ I say, set the radio aside, and keep my eyes on the monitor as our vehicle rolls onto solid ground and accelerates with wailing sirens.
Chapter Three
NYLA
Inhale. Hold. Exhale.
With my eyes closed, I lean against the wall and listen to myself. In the midst of the hectic activity in the emergency room corridor, that’s not as easy as it is at home. And I also hadn’t expected that I would already be working today, even though only the introductory meeting with Dr. Franks had been planned.
I thought I would have one more night before things started. But the emergency room was overloaded, and then a colleague came down with a fever, so my boss asked me to help out for a few hours. Of course I grabbed a white coat and a patient file.
Working again, helping people again, is wonderful. I just hadn’t thought it would take such a toll on my body.
Is that my racing heartbeat, or is it the quick steps of the nurse that are causing the pounding in my eardrums? Do I have a fever, or am I just warm because I’m standing next to a radiator? Is it my thoughts that are riding a roller coaster, or is it only the voices of my colleagues, the scraping of mobile hospital beds on the linoleum floor, and the beeping of the monitors overlapping and creating this chaos?
I make an effort to block out my surroundings.
Inhale.
I settle down, I am completely with myself.
Hold.
My pulse is normal, just like my temperature. My thoughts are clear and focused.
Exhale.
I let go of the tension, feel that I’m ready, lift my lids and suddenly find myself looking straight into Dr. Franks’s face.
My boss’s graying eyebrows draw together, concern is reflected in his light eyes. ‘Is everything all right with you?’
Even though we haven’t talked about it in detail yet, he knows my medical history and understands what it means for me to be working again, and in a job that is so emotionally and physically demanding on top of that. The fact that he worries about me makes me smile, even though I definitely share his concern. I wish it were different, but I simply have to take good care of myself.
‘Yes, I’m okay, thank you,’ I say, because I want to make this work.
‘I’m sorry I threw you straight into the chaos.’ With his gentle gaze and gray temples, he looks like a kindly grandfather.
