When training ends, I wonder if I should talk to Sutton. Assure him I will not intrude on his and Layla’s relationship. I should have kept my distance. I know he sees me as a threat, and I should have known he would see my advance as a challenge. How can I prove to him that I am not? That I am and always will be true to my word.
Exiting the training comb, I instinctively make a left turn toward my room.
The best way to prove to Sutton that I am not a threat is to keep my distance. Showing up at their door, no matter what my intentions are, would only serve to threaten him further. Razyr has yet to put a name on Sutton’s designation, so until then, I will treat Sutton and Layla as I would any other mated pair and give them the space they deserve.
Chapter 12
Layla
“I’msorry,Layla.Ican’t do this.” Sutton paces the width of our little studio apartment while I sit in frozen silence on the edge of the bed. “I know I said I’d be okay, but I’m not. I’m really fucking not.” He growls and plants a heavy fist in the wall, denting it.
Fear gripped me the second the door closed behind him, and he started pacing when he came back from the training comb. I was afraid to ask him what was wrong, feeling like the question would scare him off. Because it wasn’t a calming pace, it was a questioning pace. Should he stay or should he go?
“What can I do?” My voice is cloying, quiet to keep from spooking him. “I’ll do anything to make this right.”
“That’s just it, you didn’t do anything wrong. I know you only did what you had to do, what I told you to do, but…” He sits on a chair at the little dining table in the kitchen area, hunched over with his hands balled in his lap, his knuckles turning white. I breathe a little easier. The threat of him running reduced, though he still hasn’t looked my way. “I can’t stop seeing him when I look at you. When we eat, he’s there. When we sleep, he’s there. When we fuck…”
I dare to stand and walk toward him. “We just need time. Distance. Maybe we should leave. Go home.”
He shakes his head. “You can’t leave the Center, Layla. Our bond isn’t strong enough.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t say it like that.” I hate the hit his confidence has taken since coming here. He used to be so self-assured, bordering on arrogant. He could do anything. Take on anyone. Survive any hardship.
We both should have known better than to think this wouldn’t do irreparable damage to our relationship.
“You know what I mean. It’s not the right kind of bond to keep you safe from other alphas wanting to take you away from me. I can’t protect you the way they can. The way Zayd could.”
“What are you saying, Sutton?” Rage boils in my chest. I think I know where this is going, and I won’t accept it. He survived so we can be together. We must stay together.
Sutton’s chest rises and falls with a heavy sigh. “I can’t stay. You can’t leave.”
“No,” I growl and stomp my foot. “Don’t you fucking dare say what I think you’re about to say.”
“Now that you’ve had him, you will never be fully satisfied with me because our bond—my scent can only go so far. But Zayd… He can give you the life and freedom you deserve.”
“The life I deserve is the one I promised to spend with you. Through good times and bad. We’re supposed to endure it all, together,” I shout through the tears streaming down my cheeks and coating my lips.
So calmly it pisses me off, Sutton explains, “That promise was made in a different time, for a different world. The world—we have changed in a way we never expected, but it’s our reality now, and we need to be realistic.”
“No. We can get through this. I know we can,” I say through gritted teeth.
“I can’t.”
“Sutton,” I sob.
Sutton stands and holds my face in his big, calloused hands, “I wish you all the happiness in the world, Layla. You and Zayd.”
“I won’t do it. I won’t bond with him. Even if you leave, nothing will change. So, you might as well stay.”
On a sad grin, he whispers, “Don’t be stubborn.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I yell.
Sutton wraps his arms around me, plants his lips on my forehead. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with seeing him, even when he’s not here. I thought that it would be okay when we were alone together, but it’s almost worse. The ghost of him haunts me.”
“We just need some time. You said it yourself. Just give it more time,” I remind him. And the shimmer in his eyes makes my chest swell with the hope I convinced him.
Sutton kisses my forehead, then trails kisses down the side of my face before burying his nose in the crook of my neck. He breathes audibly, smelling my skin before dragging his tongue up my pulse.
