And maybe because those thoughts muddled up my brain, my dumb mouth blurted out, “I love you.”
Lola stood frozen on the porch, drowning in a sea of red flannel. Her eyes widened. No shy smile, though. Her mouth dropped open in shock.
Great.
Just.Bloody.Great.
I tugged at the hem of the T-shirt. Why did I always make everything so awkward? Why couldn’t I have surprised her over a nice dinner or something? This was the wrong place anddefinitelythe wrong time. Why was I—
Lola launched herself at me, arms around my neck, kissing me like she was trying to knock me over—and it worked. My calves hit the edge of the outdoor lounge, and I tumbled back with her in tow. She landed in my lap, laughing, then cupped my face in both hands to keep me still as she peppered frantic kisses across my cheeks and nose.
“Really?” she breathed.
“Really.”
“Since when?”
“Since forever.”
“Tell me again.”
My palms covered the pretty pink flush of her cheeks. I held her gaze to tell her how she was my whole world—properlythis time. “I love you, Lola.”
Her cheeks burned even pinker. “Oh.”
She took the lead. I didn’t mind. I liked her bossy. She straddled my lap, teased me with her hungry, demanding kisses, and when that wasn’t enough, she tortured me by starting to rock her hips against me so achingly slow. I couldn’t have stopped the pained groan even if I tried. Her fingers fumbled on the button at the neck of the old flannel she wore.
Oh, sweet hell. Is she…?
“Lola, you…” My voice was rusty. The words wouldn’t come out. “We don’t have to do this.”
“I want to.” She fidgeted with the next button. “Do…you?”
My breaths turned ragged. Thinking wasn’t possible anymore. My gaze locked on that one undone button because I was coming undone myself. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve her. But—hell—I needed that woman like I needed oxygen.
I managed to choke out a simple, “Yes.”
Lola bit back a smile and started to flick off another button. And another. All of them. I didn’t blame her for not shucking off the flannel and tossing it to the ground where I wanted it.Icy air drifted across the porch, needling goosebumps across my bare arms. But the glimpse of her pale skin, prickled from the cold, and the soft curve of her belly peeking through the gap of my old flannel shirt? Goddamn, that drove me wild. My cock was already harder than a damn rock.
I let my index finger trace the line of opened buttons, then drift lower, over the sliver of her pale skin exposed to my greedy eyes.
Every inch of Lola was so…soft.
My hands were rough, scarred, and calloused from years of hard use. But she never flinched away from my touch. She gasped those soft little sounds as I kissed her and dragged my fingertips over her skin. She loved the light touches best—over her breasts, down her waist, along her hip, and where the bumpy edge of her knickers hugged her skin.
Lola tugged at the waistband of my pyjamas and tore her lips away from mine, only to demand, “Off.”
I loved her confident like this, but… “Lola, is it…too…soon?” She’d only just escaped that monster. The deep purple bruises were fading on her skin, but I could still see them, trace them, remember her fear…
“We’ve waited months,” she murmured, kissing my neck.
We weren’t talking about the same thing, but I wasn’t going to spoil one of the best moments of my life by reminding her of the man who’d tried to end hers.
She shimmied out of her white knickers, kicking them off her ankles onto the porch. Then she shoved down my pyjama bottoms, impatient, a little rough, but so damn perfect I ached to be inside her all the way to my soul.
“Tell me again,” she whispered.
It didn’t matter that my cock was throbbing and kept hostage in her tightly wrapped fingers. I’d happily tell her a hundred times. “I love you.”
