Me too.
I wanted to tell her that I treasured our awkward conversations and all the quiet moments we’d spent together. But Lola didn’t know about the shadows roped around my mind and the noisy, unpredictable destruction that kept me teetering so close to the edge. I couldn’t bear to see rejection in her pretty blue eyes if she found out the truth about me.
Lola brushed the back of her fingers over my cheek. Was she trying not to get flour in my beard? A shiver of longing rippled down my spine. She could coat me in flour if she kept touchingme like that. I hadn’t let a woman get this close in years. Maybe ever. No one was as sweet as Lola.
“I like your little hands on me,” I murmured into her hair.
“Please, Aiden.”
Chasing her needy whisper, I dipped my head, my lips finally brushing against hers. Lola was bolder than I’d imagined in my fantasies. She was confident sharing affection—almost eager—and her kiss, so seductive and fearless, was just as demanding as mine.
“Very, very yes,” she whispered.
She clung to me, her slender arms wrapped around my neck, letting me know she was mine to hold, to savour, as I deepened the kiss. The groan of pleasure that rumbled in my chest couldn’t be stopped. I wanted her to hear the way her lips made me feel. Reborn.Undone. I ignored all the warnings—the clock ticking louder in the background, past sins gnawing at the edges of my thoughts…
“Goddamn, Lola… I…” I couldn’t breathe. Did I even want to? I wanted Lola in my bones. I wanted to trap her memory, every detail of her, in my soul.
“I feel the same way,” she said before capturing my mouth for another kiss.
But I hadn’t said anything. How could she know?
I’d been dancing around Lola for weeks, and then, suddenly, I was in her kitchen. She was in my arms. I knew the way her breath hitched when her body melted against mine. I’d tasted her sweet lips, and I knew the tongue she poked out of her mouth when she concentrated tasted even better when sensually tangled with mine.
But I should have ended it. I should have acted like a gentleman. Told her the truth.
In the brief moments our kisses stopped, after we finished making the pasta, ate lunch, and finally, when she walked me tothe front door hours later, I should have reminded Lola I wasn’t the man for her.
And when her fingers untangled from mine and she asked, “Would you like to come for dinner tomorrow night?” I should have said no.
Nights were always worse.
Instead, I buried it all.
“Yes, love.” I trailed my fingers along Lola’s jaw, tipping her chin up so I could kiss her goodbye. “I’d like that.”
And I pretended life was perfect—finally worth living—even though I knew…
I was going to ruin her.
7
She Didn’t See Any Red Flags
Lola
The knock on thedoor finally came just after six.
Anticipation thrummed in my chest. After a final twirl in front of the mirror to check my floral dress from every angle, I stumbled out of the bedroom, almost tripping over my feet.
A pause behind the front door. A deep breath in. My heart only raced faster.
“Calm down,” I mumbled to myself.
But I couldn’t. I’d overdone it. The chicken roasting in the oven. The apple pie baking below it. My make-up. The dress. The sheer blush-pink underwear I’d painstakingly chosen to slip on underneath. It was too much. All of it. Everything.
I clutched the doorknob, my fingers unsteady on the cold brass. Fear stopped me from opening my life to a new possibility.
I’d asked Aiden to come for dinner, but…
