“Yes?”
“Goddammit, Lola. That’s…” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I didn’t think it would be so soon.” When I blinked at him, confused, he added, “You. Moving on.”
“It’s been months since I left him. That’s hardly soon.”
“I meant moving on fromus.”
“Was there anus?”I tilted my head, thinking about it. My poor lonely heart had wanted there to be anus,but Aiden had never promised me that. “We had that weekend, I guess. I know I let my emotions get the better of me the day of the storm.” I winced.Secrets meant to stay buried had poured out of me faster than the rain from the sky that day. I’d admitted too much. “Iwasupset about what happened between us, but don’t worry. I’m over it now.”
“You’re…over it…”
I bobbed my head in a nod. “Other people probably figure out their boundaries sooner than me. I’ve never had a one-night stand before, and I don’t think I’ll have one again.” Part of my brain registered I was back to rambling, and yet my mouth kept going…and going… “I think being with someone is such an intimate chance to spoil them and…and…connectwith them. The next time I share that part of myself, I want it to be special. I want it to really mean something.” I blushed, my teeth gnawing on my bottom lip to stop myself from saying more. That waswaytoo much to say on a random Saturday morning.
“We didn’t have a one-night stand,” he said.
“A half-night stand?”
Aiden scowled. “Lola, you’re not hearing me. It wasn’t just a one-night thing. It wasn’t afuck. I don’t… Bloody hell… I don’tdothat kind of thing.”
“So, I imagined waking up by myself?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
Wasn’t it? It sounded an awful lot like the same old gaslighting I was used to. In the past, I would have smiled and shoved my feelings deep down. Not anymore.
“Aiden, do you know how hard that morning was for me? The sheets were cold. Your stuff was gone. You didn’t leave me a note, and then, when I saw you…” I pressed my hand over my heart. The moment he’d tossed out the pie still hurt more than I wanted it to. “Life has taught me so many lessons. I know I never want to be treated that way again. So, as good as our half-night stand was—”
“Please stop calling it that.”
I lifted a shoulder. “If you want to pretend it didn’t happen at all, that works for me, too.” I tucked the muffins safely back in my bag. “Sorry about all thatoversharing. I already gave Harry your umbrella when I last saw him. So, now that you have all your stuff back, we can go back to staying away from each other. I’d better head off anyway.”
His narrowed gaze dipped over my outfit from head to toe. “You meeting someone?”
“Yeah. Ryan.” I patted the outline of the box crammed into my bag. “We’re catching up for a coffee. It’s becoming a Saturday thing, I think. Breakfast with Brooke. Coffee with Ryan. Pretending I can knit in the afternoon.” I laughed. “See ya!”
I got about five steps down the road before I realised I’d hit the mental “block” button on this relationship, too.
16
He Saw the Doctor
Aiden
The memory of RyanHollyoak touching Lola’s shoulder was blistered like a red scar behind my eyes.
It happened in a second. Innocent. Nothing at all, really. He held open the coffee shop door for her. His other hand parked on her shoulder as she slipped past, and when he looked down at her and smiled, she smiled back. It wasn’t one of her dreamy smiles, like when nothing existed but the two of us tangled in her pink sheets. But itwasa smile.
She baked him muffins.Applemuffins.
She liked him.
And it burned through me like acid.
I forced in a slow breath, keeping my gaze steady on the knotted lines of wood as I smoothed the sandpaper down the rough edge. Almost a week alone, avoiding the world in myworkshop, had done nothing to dull that memory. But Lola had every right to move on. I just had to get used to it.
Harry’s boots plodded across the workshop floor. He must have been back from the job at the church. I didn’t look up. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk.
His butt slumped against the workbench beside me. “Seriously, old man,” he said. “What are you doing?”
