“You have to be kidding right now.” I held up a hand to stop myself before I cursed a blue streak at him. Matilda was in thehouse and out of earshot, but I still fought to keep control of my temper. “One nightabsolutelychanged how I feel about you.”
“Erin, it was a mistake.”
“It was achoice. You made a whole series of choices without thinking about me once.”
“You’re all I was thinking about.”
My eye roll was juvenile, but I couldn’t help it. “Oh yes, I can see how sleeping with another woman was certainly formybenefit.”
“I was stupid, Erin. I thought if I could meet my physical needs in some other way, I’d stop putting that pressure on you.” The emotion hitching his voice almost sounded sincere. “I wanted you to have space for healing...foryourneeds…”
“Like how I might need a man who doesn’t leave me panicking about him being dead in a ditch somewhere?”
“Your fixation on death is…” Sighing, he shook his head.
Was he seriously trying to make out the problem wasme? Unbelievable! “You didn’t pick up your daughter, Jeremy! You ignored all my calls! You ignored the teacher!”
“Erin—”
“What sane person is sitting there calmly thinking, ‘Gee, I’m sure my husband’s totally fine. He’s probably giving me space to grieve my dead friend by fucking someone else!’ Come the fuck on!”
Jeremy shook his head with disgust. He never liked me swearing, but too bad. I was angry and sick of bottling everything up to make everyone else feel better.
I shot at him, “The only reason I haven’t asked Cal to throw your lying ass out of here is because of Til. She deserves to know her father…even if he is a lying sack of shit.” I spun on my heel and headed for the house.
“Erin!”
I waved Jeremy off with a dismissive flick of my hand. I was so done with him. “I’ll cool off and get Til changed. We’ll meet you in town.”
With any luck, he’d turn his car around and drive straight back to the airport.
14
That Tense Afternoon in Spring
Callan
Getting ice cream withJeremy tagging along was a strange experience.
It certainly wasn’t what I’d had in mind when I’d invited the girls to town. The plan had been, well… adate…of sorts. I wanted to test the water and see how Erin and I got along outside the comfort of the house and our familiar patterns of friendship.
Too many hours alone with too much time to think had me questioning why her finger had played with the top button of my shirt. Her quick breaths had whispered too close to my neck. Maybe…she liked me, too?
Delusional.
I expected Erin’s rejection when I finally spat out the truth about my feelings, but her friendship was just as important to me as wanting more. I didn’t want to lose her. Icouldn’t. The bone-deep panic of never seeing another smile—or even gettingone of those cursed Unscrambles—stopped me from speaking up.
But the longer I forced myself to stay away from Erin, the more my heart knotted in my chest. My body operated on autopilot, and the only path programmed into me was hiking down the hill to the cottage. I almost knocked on the door yesterday to ask her if she’d go to dinner with me.Almost. A moment of sanity had stalled me, and I’d turned around and gone home before I’d made a complete ass of myself.
And nowhewas here.
As smug as ever, wearing his posh clothes and designer sunglasses, Jeremy swaggered around town as if he were a movie star. He couldn’t get his shirt wrinkled, of course, so Matilda was propped on my hip after she’d wailed and stomped her feet because she refused to take another step if she was wearing her clear jelly sandals.
“But you love your jellies,” Erin said.
The little girl stuck her nose in the air and folded her arms. “Matilda love pink boots!”
This was a kid after my own heart. Sturdy boots would never do her wrong in these parts. “We can go stomping in the mud later,” I whispered to her.
