I inched closer to Jeremy. “I’m not minimizing what you do.” I dropped my voice even lower. “You’re an excellent doctor. Everyone says so. But I think someone who doesn’t know us might help us to—”
“Give you free rein to complain?”
“No, that’s not—”
“Completely disregard what I need from our relationship?”
I sighed. Why didn’t he ever let me finish speaking? “Jeremy, it’s not like I haven’t noticed something’s changed between us. A therapist could help us talk about what webothneed.”
He barked a laugh at the ceiling. “This is unbelievable.”
“You didn’t realize I’m unhappy?”
“What reason doyouhave to be unhappy? Please. Enlighten me.”
“You’re working such long hours.” Cautiously, I reached out, my fingers settling in a gentle squeeze around his thigh. “I miss you. I thought you might’ve noticed all my little gestures… even if I’m not as good at showing you how much I care in other ways…”
“Juvenile notes left on my dinner in the fridge?”
My hand fell away. His comment stung. A handwritten “I love you” stuck to the plastic wrap over another dinner he’d missed seemed thoughtful to me.
“I’d eat with you if you came home earlier…” I said. “Jeremy… Is this really a conversation about how to fix us?”
“Of course it is.”
“Or… maybe… You already found someone else?”
“What the hell are you suggesting?”
My throat tight, the words almost too thick to push out, somehow, I asked, “Who called you before?”
Jeremy’s chair screeched on the wooden floor. He lurched to his feet, his wallet ripped out of his pocket, and with a careless flick, he torpedoed his credit card at me.
“Fuck this,” he spat.
I could only stare, eyes wide, my mouth falling open, as he shouldered his way past the waiter. Jeremy made his living helping people through complex emotional turmoil, and he behaved…likethat?Worse than our toddler! The last of my strength crumbled, and I slumped on the chair. How had the night veered from my nervous excitement of dressing up for a date night to…this?
“Ma’am.” The waiter appeared beside me with a simpering smile. “Would you like the check?”
Would I?
I could shed the last of my dignity, chase Jeremy, and indulge him in another pointless argument where I never got to complete a full sentence for the enjoyment of everyone rushing past.
Or…
I glanced down. My gown was perfect for a rare dinner free from plastic placemats and toddler-sized bowls and cutlery. The babysitter was booked until midnight, and even if Jeremy didn’t seem to think so, I’d earned a night off.
No, I wouldnotlike the check.
I smiled at the waiter. “I’d love to try a glass of the Riesling, please. And for my main course, I’d like the chicken…”
The house was quiet.
I nudged Matilda’s door open and peeked through the gap. The fairy nightlight was only a blush of pink on shadowed walls, but it was enough to see the tiny girl with the splatter ofdark curls sprawled on top of the sheets. A rumpled pajama leg was bunched above her knee, and her thumb dangled from her mouth.
My fingers slipped off the edge of the door, and I backed away.One less thing to worry about. I headed for the bedroom. What waited for me there? Another argument?
Jeremy was right—we couldn’t keep spinning helplessly in the same tired circles. But would we be happier living as roommates, only coming together to raise our daughter, and pursuing our own interests at night? A separate existence wasn’t the marriage I’d signed up for—or the one I wanted.For better or worse. I’d meant my vows when I’d said them. Had he?
