And she was probably right.
That didn’t mean I’d been able to get to sleep. Poor Callan. He’d sat up with me until almost one in the morning, letting me spew out my frustration about ex-husbands and divorces and how the whole process was just so unfair. Cup after cup of tea was put in front of me to bare my soul without judgment. He was a loyal friend.
No, he was my best friend.
My only friend.
But I hated that this was what my life would become. Every weekend would belong to Jeremy. Even if these two days passed without any dramas, would the next visit? What would happen once the lawyers and courtsreallygot involved? Would I be forced to move closer to him? I’d read too many divorce horror stories online. My problems were only just beginning.
“Did you tell your parents yet?” I asked Jeremy. “About the separation?”
“No.”
“Will you?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. You know what they’re like. They’ll blame you instead of accepting I’m the one at fault. I don’t want that.” The smile he gave me was believably tender. “I’m willing to work for our marriage. No one needs to know about this temporary struggle except us.”
Delusional, and absolutely not temporary, but okay. “I didn’t tell my parents, either,” I said.
“Why’s that?”
I shrugged. “They’re in Europe.”
“That’s not the reason.”
No, it wasn’t.
My parents—as dysfunctional and crazy as they were—were committed to each other. It was them against the world, no matter what. They wouldn’t understand separating. Ups, downs, and bumps that crashed them from one failed dream to the next—everything was okay if they were together. Cole and Lila had a marriage like that, too.
Not everyone was so lucky, I guess.
Jeremy reached out to rest his hand on my back. “Let’s wait to tell them, too. We could try counseling first…like you wanted.”
My eyebrows rose.
He only smiled. “I’m already talking to someone. I think it’s important I work on myself and understand why I did what I did. I thought I was above it because of my profession, but…” He shrugged. “I’m prepared to admit I need help.”
My steps slowed. This was…unexpected.
“Would you consider joining me for a couple’s session?” he asked. “We could work through how you’re feeling…together…”
Frowning, I watched the clomp, clomp, clomp of Matilda marching ahead. Why couldn’t he have agreed to this before?
“I’ll consider it,” I said slowly.
Was there any point, though? What would counseling achieve after he’d already ripped the ground out from under me?
In the days after he’d cheated, talking through the violent swing of my emotions from devastation to rage might’ve healed my heart enough not to glare at him with hatred. No amount of talking would help me recover my confidence. Who would want me if my own husband couldn’t stand the sight of me? The thought of another man stripping off my clothes kicked my pulse into overdrive. My newfound insecurity was too raw to admit out loud. My looks were all I had to offer… And now, I didn’t even have that.
“This heat…” Jeremy hummed in annoyance, tugging at the top buttons of his linen shirt. A sliver of his tanned chest and a familiar sprinkle of chest hair peeked out. Unexpected, though, was the delicate gold chain hanging from his neck.
“New bling?” I smirked. “Did your sidepiece buy it for you?”
Jeremy ignored my comment and slipped the chain out, the gold cascading over his hand, my diamond engagement ring and platinum wedding band hanging at the bottom. “I couldn’t bear to put them in a box or a drawer somewhere,” he said. “I prefer keeping them close to my heart. That’s the only place that feels… right.”
I pressed my lips together and stared at him, deadpan.
He leaned closer, and into the crook of my neck, he whispered, “I know that under your anger, you still love me, Erin.”
