Unrestrained, I tilted my hips, and when the seam of my shorts brushed over the hard bulge in his jeans, a hot, strangled gasp huffed out of him. His head fell back against the sofa.
That unguarded look in his eyes wasn’t anger. God, no. That look meant…
“You want me,” I whispered.
Callan shot up. His hands clutched tight around my waist again, and I flew up, off the sofa, weightless, until he planted me on the ground on two wobbly legs.
“Not like this.” He blew out a long breath, putting distance between us as he speared his fingers through his hair. “It can’t be… Not when you’re…”
He was grasping for any reason to stop this. I got it. We’d known each other forever. This wasCallan. This was the boywho’d frantically knotted his school jumper around my waist to hide the patch of blood on my skirt when I’d gotten my first period. I’d seen him with half his face stitched back together. He’d seen me fall apart by the old elm on the hill after Lila died. There was nothing sexy in the memories we shared.
But we could make new memories. Different ones.
His powerful forearms strained as he held his hips and tracked me with narrowed eyes as if I were about to pounce on him. He was right to be cautious. Iwasabout to pounce on him.
“Erin, I don’t want this.” Even as he lied through his teeth, I could see the tension pulling across his shoulders. He was fighting to hold back. “We can’t.”
“Because I’m technically still married?”
“You know I don’t give a shit about Jeremy.”
“Then what’s stopping you? You say you don’t want me—”
“No. That’s not what I said. I’m desperate for you. But I don’t want…this.” His hand waved in the gap between us. “I don’t want to be your rebound. I can’t handle you jumping into my bed if it’s only to try to forget what he did to you. If you walked away after letting me have you… Bloody hell, Ez… I’m barely holding myself together as it is.”
“Whatdoyou want, then? And don’t you lie to me, Cal. You know I can tell.”
“I want to be the love of your life.” There was an ache in his voice that almost made my knees buckle. “I want the whole package. You and Til, here, with me. I want us to be a family. And I know I can’t ask that. I know the timing’s wrong and your head’s not on right, and you never signed up to waste your life on a farm when you could have any man you want at home in the city, but I can’t do less than wanting a life with you. So, until you’re sure—”
I ended his ranting by arching on my tiptoes and kissing him.
Callan was shocked at first. He never would’ve expected me to make the first move. I wasn’t bold. I was the last one to jump into the river. He stood ramrod straight, not moving, but another haphazard peck of my lips on his was enough. His big palm spread across my backside, hauling me flush against him, and with his nose touching mine, he searched my eyes, offering one last chance to stop this.
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
That stubborn mouth of his, usually frowning as he looked over the fields, was soft with just a hint of salt from the popcorn when he brushed his lips over mine. But I only got two—no, three—gentle coaxes before he demanded more. The fiery, fierce plunge of his mouth against mine was relentless, and even though he cupped my cheek so sweetly, the sensual slip of his tongue, begging me to kiss him back just as deep, just as desperately, made my heart hammer against my ribs so fast I was almost floating.
Callan eased back. His chest heaved on ragged breaths. I clutched the back of his neck to keep myself steady. I wasn’t sure I could stand up on my own.
That kiss… It wasn’tjusta kiss…
“Cal…”
“Y-ye…” His arms tightened around me. “Yeah?”
“I don’t know if I can give you what you need—”
“Forget I said any of that.”
“—but I don’t think we can pretend we’rejustfriends after a kiss like that.”
“No… I don’t think we can. That was…”
“Incredible.”
“It was fucking earth-shattering.”
I grinned into the crook of his neck. “Where’d that naughty mouth come from all of a sudden, Callan Joel Wolcott?”
