Slow footsteps pulled me down the hallway. I paused at the end, my fingers skimming the doorframe, the shake in my hand refusing to settle. Was I ready for this? I avoided this room. When the door was closed, it was like all the bad memories stayed trapped inside. I didn’t have to face them. I wasn’t sure I could.
I stepped inside. A deep breath filled my lungs as I lifted my eyes.
Lila’s really gone…
The photos and knick-knacks on the nightstand had been cleared away. The four-poster bed still stood proudly in the middle of the room, the delicate mesh draped over the top, but the patchwork quilt Lila had sewn was missing, and the comforter folded neatly at the end of the bed was a simple and sterile white.
There was no reminder of my best friend except for the porcelain unicorn on the windowsill.
Matilda scrambled onto the bed and flopped into the mountain of pillows. “Thisfavoriteroom.”
Wordless, I sank onto the edge of the mattress.
It was like Lila had never existed at all. My heart would never be whole because a piece would always be lost with her wherever she was now, but the days had somehow gone on without her. I’dbeen blessed with a little girl that Lila never got to meet except for a frail hand on my tiny bump. She never got to have kids or grow old. I got all that, and the only thing left of her life was a porcelain knick-knack in a blank, white room. How was that fair? Who decided? Guilt was a rock tied to my heart, tugging it down to dark, dark places.
I only looked up when footsteps shuffled down the hall. Mim hovered in the doorway.
“I thought I heard my little Til scurryin’ around up here,” she said.
“The door was open.” My gaze floated back to the unicorn. “It’s so…empty.”
Mim sighed, and shaking her head, she simply said, “Cole.”
“He packed everything away?”
“The week before he left. He took a few things with him, but most of it’s stored in the attic. The two of them had a hell of a time gettin’ it all up there.”
My eyebrows popped up to ask the silent question of “Who?”
“Cal helped him,” Mim explained. “It nearly broke his heart to do it. He told Cole there was nothin’ wrong with keepin’ everything laid out all nice like Lila had it. Cole wasn’t listenin’, of course. Stubborn, that one. Like his father.”
“I didn’t know…”
“You’ve been avoidin’ this room.”
I couldn’t deny it. I hadn’t even trusted myself to creep up to the door. “The last time I was here…” Well, it had been thelasttime.
The antique bed groaned when Mim sat beside me. “There’s nothin’ to fear about this room. If Lila’s still in this world, she’ll be watchin’ over Cole.” She huffed a laugh. “She’s probably wishin’ she could chew his ear off like she used to. He’s actin’ so foolish.”
“He loves her.”
“He’s stuck. A bit like you, I think. The people in our past shape us, but sometimes, the best way to honor those memories is to keep movin’. Standin’ still won’t bring ’em back.”
“I know.”
“Do you, though? You’ve always been one to stick it out until the bitter end. Not like your parents. I can’t say I wasn’t grateful for all you did for Lila in those last days… I was… And I am. Not everyone deserves the type of love you’re willin’ to give.” She patted my knee. “Just like how not all men are worth trudgin’ through an endless winter in the hope somethin’ good will be waitin’ if it ends.”
I knew that. That was one thing I was certain of. “Nothing could convince me to take Jeremy back.”
“Cal’s got somethin’ to do with that.”
“He’s a good friend.”
Mim snorted. “Is that what you two are callin’ it? Good friends, eh?” Laughing, she shook her head. “Cal’s a good boy. He cares about you somethin’ fierce.”
“You’re worried I’ll hurt him.”
“I’ve known you longer than I didn’t. You won’t.” Mim cocked her head. “But just know, if you leave, he’ll follow.”
