I flipped on the shower and let the hot water burn away the bad day. It didn’t work. A squeeze of shampoo and the sharp hit of apple up my nose as I scrubbed my hair didn’t clear the thoughts rampaging around my head, either.
What the hell was I going to do?
I watched the shampoo suds circle the drain at my feet.
Nothing.
I’d do absolutely nothing.
My old man would have to cart me off the farm in a pine box. I wasn’t leaving willingly. This was my life. But the comment that stung the most was about Erin. Her commitment to me was an open wound, the kind you knew you shouldn’t press because it was too fresh and so raw you needed to grit your teeth through the sting. I loved her. No one believed she loved me back. That was something I was going to have to get used to.
When I opened the shower door, a towel dangled in front of me. Erin stood there, eyes closed, a smirk on her face.
“I’m not peeking.” She wriggled the towel, waiting for me to grab it. “Mim summoned me to talk you out of leaving.”
I grunted and took the towel. A quick tug, and it wrapped snug around my hips.
One of Erin’s eyes cracked open. “I told her you’d never leave.” Her smirk faded. “I seem to be the only one who thinks that.”
“That’s because you’re the only one who listens to me.”
“You have every right to be angry.”
Sighing, I slumped against the shower. The steamed glass was hot on my back. “Everyone overheard the argument I had with Dad?”
Erin nodded. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why he refuses to see everything you do, Cal.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Itdoes. Everything you’ve done is for the farm. I know he’s upset about Cole leaving… But… Sometimes, one brave person has to make the hard choices so you can all keep going.”
If I dug deep down to search for the real reason why I worked so hard,wasit for the farm? “I did it for myself,” I admitted. “I wanted to prove to Dad I could do it better than Cole. I’m a selfish ass.”
“Oh, I see…” Erin folded her arms and challenged me with a pointed look. “So, renovating the cottages and getting that extra money in wasn’t to provide for your parents’ retirement?”
“Well, yeah, it was, but…”
“And putting in everything you learned at university to improve the soil and irrigation and grow higher-priced fruit, that was just because of your ego?”
“A little…”
“Cal, come on. I’m no farmer, but I know you, and I’m pretty sure every last thing you’ve done is to keep this place going—to make it even better. You did that because you care about your family.”
I bowed my head. “It hasn’t mattered, Ez. None of it has.”
“Hey. Come here.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my chest. “It matters.”
I never wanted to shuck her off, but she couldn’t be comfortable like that. “Ez, you’re getting all wet.”
“You really think I care about a bit of water when you’re hurting like this? Give me some credit. I’m tougher than that.” She kissed my collarbone. “Don’t give up on this place. It’s everything you ever wanted.”
“It’s not.”
Her lashes lifted to show me those gorgeous brown eyes.
“You’re the other half of the equation,” I said. “It’s not worth fighting for the farm without you by my side.”
It was hard to believe Erin had no feelings for me when she kissed me. Her hand settled against my left cheek as her lips moved slowly, sensually, reassuring me with each soft press. She was trying to tell me she was there for me—scars and all. She had to be.
