“I wouldn’t be standing here if I could stop worrying about it.” I sighed. “Please don’t make me play guessing games. If we’re together—”
“Are we? You didn’t say that to Jeremy.”
Callan was right. I hadn’t. I’d stood there with my mouth clamped shut. Biting my lip, I searched his face. Was that why he was mad? He should be.
“I wasn’t expecting you to declare your undying love for me,” Callan said, “but when he said I was nothing but a revenge fuck… I can handle him talking trash. What’s new? But Erin… I needed you to speak up… I needed to hear you telling him I wasn’t just the easy option until you take him back.”
“You know I’d never treat you like that.”
Callan’s chin cocked, listening, wanting to believe me, but his eyes were guarded. “I know you’ve got a world of hurt going on, and it’s selfish of me to expect so much, but bloody hell, Ez. Sometimes it’s important to say the words. I need to know you want me alittle.”
“I want you. And there’s nothing easy about wanting to be with you. If we get this wrong…” I swallowed, but the lump in my throat was so raw.
If we got this wrong, we’d both lose everything—our lifelong friendship and this beautiful thing growing between us. His silhouette blurred as tears pooled in my eyes. I didn’t want to lose him. Why couldn’t I justsaythat?
Callan jerked his head at the door. “It’s been a long day,” he said. “Get to bed now.”
I glanced at the splinter of light peeking from the long hallway. What were my options? I could slink upstairs like he wanted and leave us both hovering in this uncomfortable uncertainty. I could throw all my stuff in a bag and march myself back to the cottage.
Instead, I simply said, “Okay,” and walked to his bed and sat down.
“Erin.”
Did he think I’d go away quietly? No thanks. I fumbled off the buttons of the flannel shirt and tossed it on the floor.
“Erin.”
Frustration crept into his voice, but I ignored it, tugged back the comforter, and slipped underneath. Callan’s soapy smell was all over the big, fluffy pillows. I kicked my feet out. And thesesheets. When did he learn the value of these amazing sheets? I wriggled. Bamboo? They were heaven and so soft on my skin. No wonder Matilda loved stealing his bed for naptime.
Callan’s face hovered barely an inch from mine. Minty breath whispered over my lips. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”
“Heading to bed, like you said.”
“This ismybed.”
“This isourbed,” I corrected him.
His frown faded, and a sweet hopefulness brightened his eyes.
I patted the empty pillow beside me. “Are you coming?”
Of course he was. I expected him to jump straight in, but he rounded the bed and peeled back the covers. His big body edged just far enough onto the mattress that he wouldn’t slip off. What was he doing all the way over there? His head smooshed into the pillow, the scarred side of his face catching the moonlight, and I waited on a stuck breath for him to scoot over. He didn’t.
Smooth bamboo crinkled under my skin as I inched closer. “I want you next to me.”
Disbelief cracked in his voice when he whispered, “Really?”
“More than anything. I love when you’re close.” I ran my fingertip down his longest scar. It was a faded pink river from his forehead to his chin, disappearing only on his eyelid and clawing off into jagged lines around his mouth and chin. “Do the scars ever hurt?”
“They randomly itch, and my cheek aches when it’s going to rain sometimes, but it’s fine. Could have been worse…”
“Could have been worse…” I murmured, tracing one of the jagged lines to his lips. I brushed my finger over the top and laughed when he pecked a kiss that made my skin tingle.
“I remember the day this happened,” I said.
“I don’t.”
“Seriously?”
