“Sure.” His forearm flexes too perfectly when he twists the cap off. “Here.”
I force myself to stop staring at the tattoos and veins on his arms, quickly shifting my gaze. “Oh, uh…” I gulp nervously. “Thanks.”
He twists the cap off another bottle, tosses it in the cooler, and holds out his beer. “Cheers?”
Just before my bottle taps against his, I pause. “Are we allowed to drink on the beach?”
“Probably not.”
“In that case…” Our bottles clink. “Cheers.”
We sip our beers in silence. It isn’t awkward. Not like the day in his car. Salt hangs in the air, and the wind teases through my hair as the waves break against the shore. I love this—stillness? Easiness? I can’t find the word I want in my mind. Sitting here with him just feelscompletesomehow.
“You managed to find the only tree,” Sawyer says.
“I chose this spot because of the tree. Look at me.” I stick out a leg and wriggle it. “I’m as white as the moon. Not like you.” I gesture at his tanned legs covered in tufts of blond hair and sand.
“There’s a lot about us that’s different.” His gaze fixes on the ocean.
I frown down at my beer, holding it delicately in long fingers. That’s different, too. Is that why he keeps his distance from me? Am I too much work for him? I spread my fingers wider, set my grip around the bottle the way he does, and then take a sip.
“So, when I got here…what were you thinkin’ about?” Sawyer asks. “Give me one from your list of everythin’.”
I shrug as if this isn’t a problem that’s been weighing me down since my divorce. “It’s been a few months since I moved here. It’s probably time to make some longer-term plans.”
“You thinkin’ of leavin’?”
“No. I love it here. But maybe… I don’t know. I should probably think more seriously about buying a car. Or a house.”
“What about some more travel?”
“I spent most of my twenties traveling. That’s enough, I think. I have the same itchy feeling I did when I wanted to see more of the world, but now, it’s focused more on findingmyplace in the world.”
“That’s a big feelin’ to conquer.”
I drop my chin to my knees. “Yeah.” Too big. Insurmountable, even.
“Take it a day at a time. Life’s not a race.”
“It is for some people.”
“You reckon they’re happy?”
“They seem happy.”
“Youseem happy.”
“I am, but…” I sigh. “You know me.”
“Do I?”
I glance over my shoulder. Sawyer’s head hangs low as he watches a handful of sand slip through his fingers.
“Do I know you, Elsie? You talk to me, you tell me about yourself, but it feels like you’re avoidin’ somethin’. It’s like if I dig a bit deeper…ask you just the right question… There’s somethin’ way down there you’re not tellin’ me.”
I drop my head. “There’s nothing to know about me. I’m no one.”
“Someone made you feel like that.”
