“Not right now.”
Wait. Is this… Are we breaking up? Can we break up if we’re not even together? This is him telling me it’s over, isn’t it?
“But…” I force myself to smile. “Before… In the office.”
He shakes his head. “A mistake.”
My heart wrenches in my chest. Two words rendered one of the most exciting moments of my life obsolete.A mistake. “So, now you know I was married, you don’t want me anymore?”
“I don’t care that you were married.”
“But then why—”
“You lied to me, Elsie! I asked you over and over. I knew you were hidin’ somethin’ from me because you just didn’t want to admit I wasn’t good enough for you!”
“That’s not… Sawyer… I was scared of what you’d think ofme.” The ache in my chest is self-pitying, and weeks—maybe years—of bottled-up emotions twist painfully around my lungs. “God,Idon’t even know what I think of me.”
Sawyer’s face crumples when tears start dribbling down my cheeks. He looks so conflicted. I can see it. The heat of his anger. The swirl of compassion that lifts his hand as if he’ll grab me and pull me close until it drops back by his side.
I swipe the tears away with a rough hand. “I’m sorry. Ignore the stupid tears. I just get worked up sometimes—”
“Fuck, Elsie.” He drags a hand through his hair. “I can’t do this. I’m angry. I’m… fuck. I’mhurt. I’ll say somethin’ I regret, and as much as I want to have this out, I can’t do that right now without…” He shakes his head as if he’s trying to rattle the thoughts out. “I’m not man enough to put my own pain aside right now to hear you out. You hid this from me. And it really fuckin’ hurt me to hear the truth from someone else.”
He turns his back to me, headed for the road.
I don’t chase after him. My legs feel boneless. I’ll trip over my own feet and end up sprawled on my backside in the parking lot, even more humiliated…if that’s possible.
Instead, I huddle against the wall, blubbering my eyes out. I’m not too proud to stand with the ocean breeze whipping the carefully curled tendrils across my face with tears streaming down my cheeks. I created this mess. Sawyer is gone. From the auction. Maybe from my life. We were close to something special, and I ruined it.
I deserve to rot in this feeling.
“Els?”
A shadow falls across me from behind.
“Luke.” I let out a slow breath and swipe at my face. “Hey.”
“Don’t let her win.”
“Wha-what?”
“People like Kristen drag you down into the muck with them when they think they’re losing. You showed her up.”
“How could I possibly have shown her up? Her face is on everyFor Salesign in this town.”
“By existing.”
“Ha ha. Sure.”
“Els, I’m serious. You’re pretty special. The only person who doesn’t see it is you.”
“I ruined everything.”
“You didn’t. I made a few light jokes to keep people talking, and Kristen’s been removed. I had some of the boys out back haul her out of there. See?”
He points through the mottled lights to the two men standing with their arms folded, watching as Kristen fumbles to unlock her convertible with a shaking hand.
“Excitement’s high,” Luke says. “People are more interested in you than ever. We can still do this. You and me. Just like we practiced.”
