“You could have just talked to me. That night. The next morning, when you cooled off.”
“That night threw a lot of truth at me I wasn’t ready for. I was expectin’ the worst, and I still wasn’t ready.”
He follows me into the kitchen, but I don’t offer to put on the coffee machine. I don’t know the etiquette for entertaining a man who disappeared from my life. I have only questions.
“Where did you go?” I ask.
He lifts a shoulder. “I stayed with my folks in Devonport for a couple of nights. Then I drove down to Hobart and spent some time with my brother and his boys.” He sighs. “It was easier than…”
“Acting like a grown man and talking to me?”
He nods, but his eyes stay on his boots. “I got you somethin’.” He holds out the brown paper package.
I fold my arms tight across my chest. Men and gifts. Why doesn’t he just apologize? I wrote out a set of palm cards of things to say to him, and he can’t even offer me an “I’m sorry for not calling” to start us off.
“Elsie, please.”
Sighing reluctantly, I accept the package from his outstretched hand. I flick off a piece of sticky tape and then slide a suspicious look at him from the corner of my eye. What’s in here? It better be damn good. It’s not the right shape to be a book. Tea.Fancytea.
“I had a lot of time to think,” Sawyer says. “About why the hell I thought I had any right chasin’ after you.”
My mouth presses into a line. He’s off to a terrible start.
“You were married, Elsie. I didn’t care about that. I still don’t. If some other man was stupid enough to let you slip through his fingers, well…that’s his damn loss.” He blows out a slow breath. “But I can’t pretend you weren’t married to some fuckin’ hotshot tech guy. A goddamn millionaire ten times over. Then, you’ve got the chef in your bed. I’ve always known I wasn’t good enough—”
“Stop right there.”
“Elsie, you know the type of man I am.”
“Yes. I do.”
“I’m as dumb as a box of rocks. I don’t read many books—”
“And I don’t play guitar like you do. What’s your point?”
“I can’t give you the kind of life those men can.”
“Good. There’s a reason I got a divorce, you know.”
“Come on—”
“No.Youcome on. Didn’t you make the same choice I did? How did it feel when everyone told you that you were crazy because you wanted something more out of life than just money?”
“Moneyisimportant.”
“Yeah. A girl needs to eat, and I’ve got expensive taste in tea. You got some tea in here?” I flick another piece of tape off the brown paper.
He shakes his head.
“Last I checked, you have a pretty great boat, and I’ve got a job,” I say. “Not the best paying job in the world, but I think we’ll get by.”
“I want you to have more than that.”
“Me too. I want a partner who loves me and enjoys spending time with me. We can make more money if we need it. But love…genuine love…it’s so much harder to find, Sawyer. Maybe not for you because everyone likes you, but for me…”
I take a deep breath. I willnotcry.
He steps closer. “This. Here.” His fingertips skim the brown paper. “This is what I can give you.”
