My breath shuddered. I forced out a thin laugh. “I’m fine.”
Liar.
Sabrina looked at me, like she was trying to read the truth in my bones. “If you want to talk?—”
“I don’t,” I said. “I really don’t.”
A beat of silence, about to snap.
Shane filled it, his voice all good-natured distraction. “Cards. Back to cards. Caiden, you in?”
Caiden’s gaze didn’t leave the table. “Sure. Whatever.”
The next hand got heated. Alex played to win. I tried to match it with banter, tried to make myself the girl he thought I was.
He leaned in, his mouth at my ear. “What would you ask me if you won?”
His breath was warm, and I fought not to recoil.
I played along. “How many girls do you bring home to your mother?”
He laughed. “Only the ones worth showing off.”
“Careful,” I murmured. “You’ll bruise my ego.”
His knuckles stroked the inside of my thigh, almost chaste, but my whole leg jumped. I chewed the inside of my cheek, desperate to look normal, desperate to play this right.
On the other side of the room, Caiden’s chair scraped the floor. He stood up to get a drink, muscles tensed under that old black hoodie. I watched him go, the way his shoulders hunched, how nothing about him ever really relaxed.
Alex noticed. “He always like that?”
I shrugged. “Depends on the day.”
Alex’s face shifted, just for a second, his cocky smile was gone, like he knew he was being watched, and it didn’t sit right. “You don’t owe him shit, you know. You can just…be yourself.”
I nodded, but the words slid right off me.
The truth? I didn’t know who that was anymore.
We made it through two more hands. Alex kept flirting, kept winning, kept making sure everyone saw his arm drapedaround my waist. I should have liked it. I used to like this kind of attention, the reassurance of being wanted, of belonging.
But it just felt hollow. Like I was the fake version of myself. Like if Alex kissed me, I’d shatter and bleed all over the couch.
Next to the fridge, Caiden popped open another beer. He caught my eye for just a second, just enough to leave me raw, my skin prickling with heat.
I lost another hand. Alex grinned and nudged me. “Looks like you’re losing your touch.”
I cocked a brow. “Maybe I’m just off tonight.”
He leaned in, closer this time, voice low. “I could help you relax. If you want.”
Oh, god. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t remember how to let someone touch me without expecting pain in every inch.
I tried. “Maybe later.”
He smiled. “I’ll hold you to it.”
Sabrina’s phone buzzed. She stood, sighing, muttering about work stuff. Shane followed, another practiced excuse to give us some space.
