I ran to the home phone and dialed ‘911’ and quickly explained the situation. They were here in no time and helped to revive her.
They told me that if I hadn’t caught her condition and called, she would have died that day.
The realization clung to me, a chilling presence that haunted me.
There was a numbness that had come over me during those events, and I didn’t cry. I went almost the whole day without crying until the end of the day.
Sometimes, I would walk home, and on that walk, I would pass the local playground. A sight caught my eyes as I passed the swing set.
A mother was pushing her daughter on the swing. The child laughed happily, while the mother was just as happy. She walked to the front of the swing as the child gracefully leapt up, falling into the mother’s arms.
The mother smiled as she held the child close, giving her a security blanket that I have been devoid of.
The tears fell, and I wept. I sprinted to a shaded tree and fell to my knees, the sobs coming harder and harder.
A shadow came into my vision, and I looked up to see Caiden standing there, scowling at me.
“What the fuck are you crying for?” He asked, looking at me as if I were something to squash under his foot.
“It doesn’t matter. Just personal stuff.”
He shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Poor Amelia, always suffering. Get over it. I have it tough too, you don’t see me crying.”
My teary-eyed gaze snapped up at him, and I glared angrily. “Shut up, Caiden. Everybody cries. I’m sure you do too, even though you won’t admit it. You’re still human.”
He bent down to my level and looked deep in my eyes. “That’s the thing, Amelia. I’ve accepted my fate. I’m a monster, just like my father. You won’t ever see me cry.”
Those words sent a shiver through me, and I was left speechless by his statement.
Without offering any comfort, he turned his back and continued walking towards home, his backpack slung over his shoulder.
It dawned on me. Caiden was a monster, and there was no changing that. I cried again, but not because of my mom, but for Caiden and his damaged soul.
The memory hit me fiercely, nearly knocking the breath out of me.
“Caiden?”
With a swift movement, his eyes flicked down to me, their dark depths unreadable. “Yes?”
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Years ago, you came across me crying in the park. My mom had accidentally overdosed that morning. I was a wreck, and you found me. You told me that you were a monster, just like your father. Did you really believe that?”
His body stiffened, and I could feel him pulling back.
One step forward, two steps back.
“At the time, I did. I was a monster, and I still am,” Caiden confessed, not meeting my eyes.
My heart ached for him.
“You’re not a monster. You’re just damaged.” I touched his chest, hesitantly, looking up at him through my eyelids.
His face twisted into anger as he pulled away. “Yeah, I’m damaged. Nothing will ever change that.”
He stood up suddenly and began to walk towards the door.
“Wait!” I ran towards him, standing between the door and his body. “Don’t leave. I’m sorry. You were being so sweet, and it just made me think about how cruel you were years ago when I was crying that day, and I guess I was comparing it to how you are now.”
His eyes softened for a moment, and he stepped closer, lifting my chin with his finger. “I’m sorry,” he said, his eyessearching mine. “I want to do better, but unfortunately, the cruel Caiden that you knew is still in me, and there are times when he’s itching to come out.”
