Instead, Sydney barreled back into the kitchen, Sabrina on her heels. “Let’s hit the water before it’s dark!” she yelled.
Instant energy. Everyone grabbed towels, clattering past me to the back deck. The air was thick with voices, arms brushing, bodies too close.
Alex came up behind me. “You ready?”
I nodded, letting him lead me out. But my heart hammered for a different reason.
From the corner of my eye, Caiden watched, jaw tight, eyes burning with that same old violence. Like he’d never learned how to look at me without wanting to destroy something.
The pull between us was a wound that never healed, no matter how far I tried to run.
I ignored it. Or tried to.
I followed Alex through the open door, the wind off the ocean immediately biting at my skin. I heard the others already heading down the steps. I tried to keep my eyes on the back of Alex’s head, let him be the light. Let him distract me from the storm always circling.
We walked down the wooden stairs, the group tumbling together, Shane already making jokes about who would be first in the water. Sabrina grabbed Sydney’s hand and yanked her forward, both of them shrieking at the cold bite of the surf.
I hesitated at the edge, toes digging into the sand. Alex reached for my hand again and squeezed. “You gonna be brave?” he teased, blue eyes bright.
For one heartbeat, I managed to smile. “Maybe I’ll just shove you in instead.”
He grinned, delight in his face. “You wound me.”
A flash of movement. The solid wall of muscle and need that was Caiden, just behind us. Close enough that I could feel the heat from his skin, even as his scowl cut into the air. He didn’t say a word.
He didn’t have to.
Every nerve in my body was singing with how much I didn’t want to care, how much I still did.
But I forced myself forward, let Alex pull me into the shallows. The water was freezing, shocking my ankles, making me gasp in spite of myself.
He laughed, steady and easy, like nothing in the world could touch him. “Come on, it’s perfect.”
Behind me, Sabrina yelled that she was already regretting her life choices.
Sydney was splashing Shane, both of them acting like five-year-olds.
But every cell in me was on fire with the tension. The dark, the ache, the way the ocean pulled at my feet even as I tried to steady myself.
Alex kept close. The way he looked at me was simple, uncomplicated affection.
I tried to let myself believe it could be that easy. That the only thing I needed was someone who was gentle and dependable. That desire didn’t have to hurt.
The water swirled and seethed around my toes, white foam licking at my calves. Alex tugged me deeper, until the hem of my shorts was soaked and my skin stung with cold.
“You’re shivering,” he said, concern softening his voice.
I shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”
He moved closer, his hand at my waist, fingers resting just above my hip. “We could head back up if you want?—”
But I shook my head, stubborn. “I’m fine.”
Always fine.
Even with the way the past gnawed at the edges of the present. Even with every dart of Caiden’s eyes, the violence of his focus, the promise of what he’d do if I so much as slipped.
The group laughed and shouted around us, the air raw with energy. I forced myself to breathe, to live in it. Not just survive, but actually exist.
