Every bit of his hulking form was wound so tightly that he reminded Harriet of the trigger of a gun – one pull from disaster. He filled the space between them making her feel smaller than even an ant.
“I do not understand.” Harriet clenched her fists to keep her hands from shaking. “If you do not like it, we can change it back. Nothing is permanent.”
“You should have discussed this with me. You should have consulted me before you did this.” Theodore’s words were clipped, edged with steel.
“You were not here.” Harriet pointed out.
“Then you should have waited until I had returned.” He took a step towards her and it took all of Harriet’s strength not to step back. “Instead, you chose to act behind my back.”
“You speak as though I have betrayed you.” Some part of Harriet bristled with indignation even as the more sensible part of her screamed at her to run away and hide. “All I did was redecorate.”
“Without my permission.” Theodore growled.
“I did not think I needed it.” Harriet shot back, anger overcoming her fear. “I thought that if anything, you would understand why I have made these changes.”
You said my time was my own.
“It is not your place to make such changes, Harriet.” Theodore took another step towards her, and Harriet stepped back, wishing her legs felt less like jelly.
“I was only trying to do my duty.” Harriet searched the Duke’s face, trying to understand where this was coming from.
“You are here for Phoebe; you will focus on her and her alone,” Theodore repeated.
“You told me you needed me, that she needed me, yet whenever I try and help her, you take issue with how I am doing it.” Harriet narrowed her eyes, stopping just short of glaring up ather husband.Stop trying to control me.“When are you going to start trusting me?”
She thought she saw him flinch and when his reply came it was tight and clipped as though he were squeezing it out through gritted teeth. “This was not for her.”
“It was for all of us, including Phoebe,” she retorted. “She should be in a place that feels like a home, not a mausoleum.”
She saw a vein in Theodore’s neck pulse and feared she had gone too far. “Regardless of what you feel about this place, it does not change the fact that redecorating is hardly conducive to your primary objective which is to mold Phoebe into the young lady she needs to be.”
Harriet felt her anger rise.How many times will we have this discussion?“She already has one governess, she does not need a second.”
“She needs structure, discipline –” Theodore began but Harriet cut him off, surprising herself.
“- she needs a family!”
She saw Theodore’s eyes widen and then narrow imperceptibly but she ploughed onwards before common sense could win over righteous indignation. She dug her nails deep into the palms of her hands, using the pain to ground herself.
“She needs affection and warmth. She needs what all children need, which is to be treated with kindness and compassion, with understanding and curiosity. She needs love.” Harriet felt a lump begin to form in her throat as her vision blurred with tears and she looked away, unable to bear the thought of Theodore seeing her cry.
He already thinks little of me, I will not add to it.Her voice broke as she stared at the floor. “Phoebe needs to love and be loved, but no one will allow it.”
The lump in Harriet’s throat grew, choking off any hope of words as she forced back her tears.
“Do not do that.” Gentle fingers cupped her chin, tilting her head back towards Theodore, his voice little more than a whisper. “Please.”
Harriet blinked up at him. The coldness had vanished, replaced by something else she did not quite recognize. His hand against her skin sent warmth all the way through her body.How can he be so gentle?
“I do not understand.” Her voice cracked. “Do not do what?”
“Look away from me when we are speaking.” Theodore’s breath tickled her skin. “I do not like it. I have never liked it. And I would ask that you do not do it. Please.”
His voice was softer than she had ever heard it, and yet it filled her chest with a fluttering sensation that stole her breath away. “I will try.”
“Thank you.” His fingers were still cupped around her chin, holding her in place firmly but not so tightly that she could not break out of his gasp.
This close to him in the daylight, she could see the grime of travel across his face, the faintest of stubble across his jaw. Without thinking, she reached a finger up to brush against his cheek.
